FAF News
@fafn.bsky.social
First American First News. A.K.A Fake A** F***** News. The content posted is satire and for entertainment purposes only.
Breaking: Fire has declared war on the US government, citing its funding of ICE as justification for their declaration. Source: Governmental Authority of Fire ((id)GAF)
January 27, 2026 at 3:49 PM
Breaking: Fire has declared war on the US government, citing its funding of ICE as justification for their declaration. Source: Governmental Authority of Fire ((id)GAF)
Breaking: Trump appoints Greg Andrews to be the new president of Venezuela. Trump claims Greg will “Make Venezuela Great Again” Source: Andrews Administration
January 4, 2026 at 5:31 PM
Breaking: Trump appoints Greg Andrews to be the new president of Venezuela. Trump claims Greg will “Make Venezuela Great Again” Source: Andrews Administration
President Putin calls President Trump, asks Trump how much he would charge to arrest President Zelensky. Source: Department of 3 Day Operations
January 4, 2026 at 4:07 AM
President Putin calls President Trump, asks Trump how much he would charge to arrest President Zelensky. Source: Department of 3 Day Operations
Breaking: Recently released Trump files show Jeffrey Epstein was on Trump Island, Mar-a-Lago, and Trump Tower. They also show Hillary and Bill Clinton in the background of photos during the last several seconds of Epstein’s life. Source: Department of I have no plans to commit suicide.
November 12, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Breaking: Recently released Trump files show Jeffrey Epstein was on Trump Island, Mar-a-Lago, and Trump Tower. They also show Hillary and Bill Clinton in the background of photos during the last several seconds of Epstein’s life. Source: Department of I have no plans to commit suicide.
Breaking: Tylenol company announces they believe MAGA hats cause headaches and autism. Source: Made up data to support our stupid ideas association.
September 25, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Breaking: Tylenol company announces they believe MAGA hats cause headaches and autism. Source: Made up data to support our stupid ideas association.
Breaking: Epstein client list found in FBI basement, along with 30,000 emails addressed to Hillary Clinton
Source: Department of I have no intentions of deleting myself anytime soon.
Source: Department of I have no intentions of deleting myself anytime soon.
July 16, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Breaking: Epstein client list found in FBI basement, along with 30,000 emails addressed to Hillary Clinton
Source: Department of I have no intentions of deleting myself anytime soon.
Source: Department of I have no intentions of deleting myself anytime soon.
Breaking: Trump and Musk agree to marriage counseling after cyber/social media war. Both agree they want to make amends and move on, but only after they both prove the other is in the Epstein files. Source: Marriage Counseling for idiots Association.
June 11, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Breaking: Trump and Musk agree to marriage counseling after cyber/social media war. Both agree they want to make amends and move on, but only after they both prove the other is in the Epstein files. Source: Marriage Counseling for idiots Association.
Breaking: US President Donald Trump signs executive order ordering the arrest and execution of Elon Musk, following truth bomb tweet telling the world that Donald is in the Epstein files. Source: Department of Things We Already Knew.
June 6, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Breaking: US President Donald Trump signs executive order ordering the arrest and execution of Elon Musk, following truth bomb tweet telling the world that Donald is in the Epstein files. Source: Department of Things We Already Knew.
Breaking: Half of America realizes they don’t celebrate Memorial Day for its true meaning, rather, they just celebrate the extra day off work. Source: National Holiday Commission
May 26, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Breaking: Half of America realizes they don’t celebrate Memorial Day for its true meaning, rather, they just celebrate the extra day off work. Source: National Holiday Commission
Breaking: Donald Trump claims pope election was rigged against him after finding out he was not elected to be the new pope. Source: Donald Trump for Pope Campaign.
May 8, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Breaking: Donald Trump claims pope election was rigged against him after finding out he was not elected to be the new pope. Source: Donald Trump for Pope Campaign.
Breaking: Trump proposes reopening Auschwitz as a prison again. Vows to send Mexicans and other criminals to infamous camp for “Learning correction” purposes. Trump also proposes free showers for the prisoners. Source: Trump Dictatorship
May 7, 2025 at 10:40 PM
Breaking: Trump proposes reopening Auschwitz as a prison again. Vows to send Mexicans and other criminals to infamous camp for “Learning correction” purposes. Trump also proposes free showers for the prisoners. Source: Trump Dictatorship
Breaking: China threatens to release Trump/Putin sex tape if Trump doesn’t drop tariffs against China Source:Xi Jinping
April 7, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Breaking: China threatens to release Trump/Putin sex tape if Trump doesn’t drop tariffs against China Source:Xi Jinping
Breaking:UNC Tar Heels sue West Virginia, claiming WV rigged the Ole Miss game against them. Source: Idiotic Politicians Department of West Virginia.
March 22, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Breaking:UNC Tar Heels sue West Virginia, claiming WV rigged the Ole Miss game against them. Source: Idiotic Politicians Department of West Virginia.
Breaking: Inside sources reveal Walmart is building an army in preparations to take over an entire country in WW3. Source: Unknown Walmart Employee
March 11, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Breaking: Inside sources reveal Walmart is building an army in preparations to take over an entire country in WW3. Source: Unknown Walmart Employee
Breaking: Putin reveals he ordered a nuclear attack on Ukraine to take place at 2:30 AM. However, the attack never happened due to Daylight Savings Time. Source: The Kremlin
March 9, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Breaking: Putin reveals he ordered a nuclear attack on Ukraine to take place at 2:30 AM. However, the attack never happened due to Daylight Savings Time. Source: The Kremlin
Breaking: As a middle finger to everyone that has to get up early tomorrow, God has deleted an entire hour out of existence. Satan said even he isn’t this evil and plans to send God to Hell. Source: Daylight Screw My Sleeping Time
March 9, 2025 at 4:29 AM
Breaking: As a middle finger to everyone that has to get up early tomorrow, God has deleted an entire hour out of existence. Satan said even he isn’t this evil and plans to send God to Hell. Source: Daylight Screw My Sleeping Time
Breaking: Donald Trump pardons Osama Bin Laden as a thank you for making Trump Tower the largest sky scraper in the area. Source: Executive Order 42069
March 5, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Breaking: Donald Trump pardons Osama Bin Laden as a thank you for making Trump Tower the largest sky scraper in the area. Source: Executive Order 42069
Breaking: Donald Trump throws away Epstein files after discovering his name is on most of them. Source:FBI Evidence Destruction Team
March 1, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Breaking: Donald Trump throws away Epstein files after discovering his name is on most of them. Source:FBI Evidence Destruction Team
Breaking:DOGE cuts all border security funding, leaving the US-Mexico border completely unsecured. Trump congratulated musk, claiming “No more money is being wasted on the Mexicans” Source: Department of Defunding everything we actually needed.
February 27, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Breaking:DOGE cuts all border security funding, leaving the US-Mexico border completely unsecured. Trump congratulated musk, claiming “No more money is being wasted on the Mexicans” Source: Department of Defunding everything we actually needed.
Breaking: DOGE fires Donald Trump and Elon Musk after both fall to respond to an email requesting a list of things they’ve done last week. Source: Department of Government Stupidity.
February 25, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Breaking: DOGE fires Donald Trump and Elon Musk after both fall to respond to an email requesting a list of things they’ve done last week. Source: Department of Government Stupidity.
Breaking: As a middle finger to the Trump administration, Biden becomes the 2nd US president to resign, making Kamala Harris the 47th president of the United States, and not Donald Trump. Source: See bio.
January 8, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Breaking: As a middle finger to the Trump administration, Biden becomes the 2nd US president to resign, making Kamala Harris the 47th president of the United States, and not Donald Trump. Source: See bio.
Breaking: George W. Bush claims mysterious drones in New Jersey are from Iraq, demands President Biden send the military to invade. Source: See bio
December 17, 2024 at 1:48 AM
Breaking: George W. Bush claims mysterious drones in New Jersey are from Iraq, demands President Biden send the military to invade. Source: See bio
Breaking: To combat government inefficientcy, DOGE has ordered the firing of Elon Musk and Donald Trump on January 20th, 12:01pm. Source: See bio
December 1, 2024 at 3:54 AM
Breaking: To combat government inefficientcy, DOGE has ordered the firing of Elon Musk and Donald Trump on January 20th, 12:01pm. Source: See bio