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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes
@fakeeyes.bsky.social
1.3K followers 320 following 3K posts
I like toys and doing silly things with them. I use and abuse alt-text. Please show me your pet and tell me their name.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · Nov 8
The world may be a rotten pit but seeing friends here I haven’t seen in so long has me like this
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 11h
I have never noticed it in Newark at all. Around Kennett Square in Pennsylvania, sure, but that’s called the Mushroom Capital of the World.

I just realized maybe I smell like it and can’t tell.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 16h
Tenderloins
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 16h
Yeah the weirdly large Hasbro remakes had the infinite action but all used the same body.

Playmates tried to make the girl torsos less wide and boxy. Maybe not enough room to make it work durably. Still seems unfair!
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 16h
Somethin about some venim I think
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 16h
You can wrap the same type of white craft wire that you can use to make Spider-Man webs around Agent Anti-Venoms testicles to help with aiming.

You won’t have full control, but you’ll be an assistant manager and be able to get them pointing in the same direction at least.
Yeah, I know I said testicles out there. You were ready with some joke and now? Now you just have to sit on it, Potsie. Remember Happy Days?? Were our days happier when there was just one Venom and we knew who it was at any given time? Did you know that Peter Parker is currently a Guardian of the Galaxy? That would be insane if his high school bully from the 60s hadn’t beaten him in joining and leaving the team by like a DECADE. Comics are so crazy now, with every new creative team really swinging for the fences with some severe landmark change that will make a good trade paperback. And yeah, that sort of thing is what makes up the weird and exciting events we remember. Gosh a costume change used to be a big deal. Now it’s every 6 months. This is some Old Man Yelling at Cloud nonsense, I know. It’s not a complaint so much as me saying I don’t really even read comics now since the minute a big thing happens I wonder how the next writer is going to undo it and take the character “back to basics” followed by the next writer saying “yeah but what if Silver Surfer was Ghost Rider and had a bicycle that killed every Magneto in the Multiverse?” And you’re like I dunno, I guess it would be crazy, man. Hope that got the USA Today article you wanted, and I for real hope you get paid if a movie uses one of your dumb ideas even if they are dumb. Bye!
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 17h
It was a great idea.

Fascinating April the way you only had to buy it once and it was very good correct.
fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 17h
You’re the best for that.
You know that feeling is mutual.

I maybe keep too much old stuff with the idea of rediscovering it.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 17h
This one has been out for a while, but it popped back up on their site this week.

$12 for me instead of $10 because I don’t know.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 17h
It’s so funny. Shocked to discover that there are butterfly joints and they are fairly effective.

This Big Boa accessory is as fun as Big Boa!
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 17h
When something new arrives I think “I’m gonna do a fun little review and it will make my friends happy to look at a silly toy” but it gets late enough that I am like oh whoops my fingers hurt all of the time & I am made of soggy meat sorry.

So much has been shipping lately that this is constant.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 17h
Things were going so well with this Kangaroo at first.
Roo from Streets of Rage, but I wanted him to go with Big Boa because I am a huge nerd. International variants are to G.I.Joe what green bunnies are to Star Wars BOP BOP! Shouldn’t have hissed! Kiwi got wrecked!
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 19h
He’s not Terri-Bull.
(I like him a lot)
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 19h
I think kids enjoy the play feature and they are aggressively trying to get kids rather than collectors to latch onto MMPR.

They are all new and the feature keeps working without having to wind the head back up, so that’s fun when they are done shitting themselves and lying.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 19h
They are all posed like toddlers shitting themselves in the corner while insisting with their first bold lie that it isn’t what they are doing.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 19h
It’s made of Gundanium.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 19h
I found this in my grandpa’s drawer with his peep show magazines and my mom says I can’t have it.
Prototype roto-molded Yoda head, probably for a puppet or furby or whatever was up with grandpa
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 22h
Do you think he died thinking “Now why didn’t I pop that AXE out of my wrist that I only used when we first got here?”
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 22h
The green and red vibrate against each other like a law is being broken! Color Law. That’s why we need the Space Police.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 1d
Ultra Magnus is here! Great toy in a different color. The best part of Magnus is has always been the Marshmallow Prime inside.

“He didn’t do that in the cartoon!”

Marshmallow Prime never shit the bed so hard as the autobot leader that he cursed in front of children and exploded. Which is better?
ULTRA MAGNUS NEEDS NO TRAILER ULTRA MAGNUS IS EVERYTHING, ASSUMING EVERYTHING IS OPTIMUS PRIME BUT LACKING PIGMENT. I GUESS I RELATE TO THIS GUY, GIVEN MY PALE EXTERIOR. IF I CAN LOVE HIM, MAYBE SOMEONE CAN LOVE ME, RIGHT? I JUST GOTTA BECOME A TRUCK OCCASIONALLY.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 1d
Now that there is Animated Nemesis Prime, unless they called him something different. Mine is built a hair better than the Optimus and I never got Motormaster so I don’t mind the second dip to get that sweet battle masked head. The teal(?) is rather striking and bright rather than metallic.
Animated Nemesis Prime as a cool truck that looks like it will hit you like a fist, as they say. The painted red side windows are not the color that the translucent windows looks so why we doin that. I don’t mind, just seems odd? Nemesis Prime says batter up. What a pose. What class. This guy(I mean me) sure knows how to stand a plastic robot and have it not fall down before he can do a photo with his phone. Applause break.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 1d
The third and final of the Headmaster Junior Deceptions to be released in these sets, Horri-Bull has a dumb name but at least he’s also a dumb monster. I love him. He’s often compared to a Terror Dog, so Ectotron will have a blast here.

He’s a Skullcruncher retool and an effective one. Raaarrrr.
It’s a Terror Dog but a robotic one. A little pilot is popping up from the cockpit hatch for a how do you do. Horri-Bull as a robot, wearing his tech specs on his chest for the world to see. Seems garish, if not perverse. The original toys would reveal their stats when the heads were plugged in. This is a permanent decoration, and that’s fine. Secretly…the Headmaster Juniors are kinda balls in comparison to the ‘87 KINGS.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 1d
It’s late. Typos are gonna happen. You followed because I’m handsome not smart except for the first part
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 1d
That’s Bumper! Great name that worked out, as it’s short for Bumblejumper, which is what this obscure goober was called by fans since it was a unique, nameless guy than made his way into Cliffjumper packages, and maybe also Bumblebee’s, as if he wasn’t supposed to be imported but snuck in. Welcome.
Bumper as a car. He’s using the Bumblebee 86 mold, which is sort of a penny racer shaped fake VW. Bumper was a Mazda, but whatever. Good enough for me. Finally we have a Bumper. Bumper attack! Great head on this. Stellar. It looks so much like the original guy that I certainly didn’t have. Not that I remember anyway. It’s very possible that I gave one out as a party favor one year. The horror!
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 1d
Best one of the Target 4 packs?
Definitely. I don’t remember them all and passed on one, but sure. Probably.
Bumper, Ultra Magnus, Nemesis Prime, and Horri-Bull are here to make you say “I want that one but not the whole set ack!!!” I really like all of them. They are each my jam for a reason or 2.
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fakeeyes.bsky.social
FakeEyes @fakeeyes.bsky.social · 1d
Desperately hope the Monroe and Vanilli Jackson show estates sue this dildo and the AI company into oblivion.
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