Fake Kevin Warren
fakekevinwarren.bsky.social
Fake Kevin Warren
@fakekevinwarren.bsky.social
This is a parody account.
Pinned
The Chicago Bears need Arlington Heights for the purpose of FRANCHISE SECURITY. It is vital for the continued safety and success of the NFL. IF WE DO NOT GET ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, SOME THIRD-RATE CONDO DEVELOPER WILL, AND THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

The Bears must own Arlington Heights! President KFW
The Illinois legislature, which has always treated me badly, will be held fully responsible for all of their LUNATIC LIES and wrongdoing when I move the Bears to Indiana! (And that still won't keep me from seizing Arlington Heights.)

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

President KFW
January 22, 2026 at 8:13 PM
Unless the Illinois legislature begins treating the Chicago Bears and your favorite president with some respect (SHOW ME THE MONEY, SPRINGFIELD!), Bears home games may soon be played in Indiana. Thank you for your attention to this matter. President KFW

#ChicagoBears #BearDown #NFL
January 22, 2026 at 4:31 PM
It is my Great Honor to announce that THE BOARD OF STADIUM has been formed. The Members of the Board will be announced shortly, but I can say with certainty that it is the Greatest and Most Prestigious Board ever assembled. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

PRESIDENT KFW

#ChicagoBears
January 22, 2026 at 4:12 PM
Your favorite president is happy to report that the Chicago Bears and the Village of Arlington Heights are discussing key concepts for the framework of a deal for a new stadium. We expect to have shovels in the ground like no one has ever seen before. Thank you for your attention to this matter. KFW
January 22, 2026 at 3:54 PM
DO THE RIGHT THING, ARLINGTON HEIGHTS! The Chicago Bears would prefer not to impose a 15% surcharge on all season tickets and individual game tickets purchased by Arlington Heights residents. Thank you for your attention to this matter. President KFW
January 22, 2026 at 3:38 PM
Many people are saying that I am not seriously considering stadium sites in Northwest Indiana. WRONG!

However, one of the problems with those sites is the number of wind farms in the general area. Our GREAT kicker, Cairo Santos, should not have to worry about machine-generated wind. Thank you. KFW
January 21, 2026 at 10:33 PM
There's an easy way for me to acquire Arlington Heights for the Bears, and there's a more difficult way. Make it easy on yourselves, Arlington Heights. Buffalo Grove won't be coming to your rescue.

Some Buffalo Grove residents are already calling me the ACTING PRESIDENT of Arlington Heights! KFW
January 21, 2026 at 9:02 PM
Good, better, best.
Never let it rest.
Because Arlington Heights
WILL BE MY NEXT CONQUEST!

Regime change on 3.
1-2-3 . . .

Your Favorite Team President -- KFW

#Bears #ChicagoBears #NFL #SoldierField
January 21, 2026 at 8:53 PM
I was EXTREMELY UNHAPPY to learn that Arlington Heights did not choose YOUR FAVORITE TEAM PRESIDENT as one of its 2026 Hearts of Gold award winners. BIG MISTAKE!

Nobody would even KNOW about Arlington Heights if I hadn't decided to acquire the village for the BEARS. WHICH WILL HAPPEN! President KFW
January 21, 2026 at 8:44 PM
The Chicago Bears need Arlington Heights for the purpose of FRANCHISE SECURITY. It is vital for the continued safety and success of the NFL. IF WE DO NOT GET ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, SOME THIRD-RATE CONDO DEVELOPER WILL, AND THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!

The Bears must own Arlington Heights! President KFW
January 21, 2026 at 7:37 PM