Very grateful that I know self defence but I also never want to have to put it to use because that'll meat that I'd be in a very bad situation. Thankfully this group was "only" posturing but jfc I hate people sometimes

and immediately locked all the doors once I got in and I live far enough from there that I'm safe at home but also 🤮

"All" they said was "Hey big dick daddy" but there were also 6 of them and even though the mcdonalds was busy, there were very dark shadows not far away.

even though I'd explained that I was off-role that night. And even with them I'd still have to gear them more from M9 and M10 again

Pct isn't levelled and also seems too complex for me to keep up with and rdm also isn't geared and is on the lower end of damage

I have ninja and viper somewhat geared too but I tried taking them into M9S once and got snapped at because I got clipped by a bat because I didn't know melee dps timing

And switching roles isn't that simple either because I'd have to start gearing whatever I chose weekly from M9S and my best bet is caster and I'd love to take blm in but jfc its lvl 100 rotation has broken my brain from what I'm used to ao that leaves smn but that feels too simple by comparison.

And I'm not even that bad of a player. I'm far from the best but there are also much worse players than me out there but it's hard to keep that in perspective when the 2nd fight in the tier is such a pain in the ass for one reason or another, my fault or not

and he's cleared it. Meanwhile I've only seen up to M11S arena split and that was when I was temporarily filling in for a static. Most of the time I get walled at M10S because of pf shenanigans and sometimes I get even walled in M9S groups

It's hard not to wonder why I even try tbh

And then I sometimes work in the evenings so any static would have to deal with that for 2 weeks until I can confirm with work to have specific evenings off on a reocurring basis

And just, it's fucking hard to not feel demotivated. I have a friend who's also a tank who's also pf'ing the tier

And if that doesn't happen then I'm the one panicking or making some dumbass mistake such as not being far out enough for Deep Impact and killing everyone else

And it's so hard to find a static because the statics I was in last year mostly disbanded and later reformed with already full positions.

And with M10S, if I don't fuck up then the group doesn't know what they're doing or we don't have the damage to beat enrage or the healers skip a gcd shield/heal because they thought we'd be fine and we lose 3 dps to a raidwide.

And that's a 1 pull clear from the 2nd group I went into M9S with. Hell, no one even died or got a damage down unlike the first group

I know I'm not the best player ever and I make mistakes sometimes but at least I acknowledge that (and I'm far from the worst player, I've seen some shit lmao)

The OT also dropped their aetherletting flare in the middle of the arena on another pull and killed everyone because of it but reading this you'd think the entire world is out to piss them off personally

the healers and dps greeded like hell during add phase 1 so they got hit enough times that her 2nd tank buster was massive and I didn't register that because I trusted people to, you know, dodge mechanics correctly

And now each of these protests draws thousands upon thousands of people to them and there's no sign of slowing down or tapering off. I've never seen so many different people united over one single thing in the past.

Australia's always had hints of this sort of crap but within the last 6-12 months, the suppression of protests, criminalising what has previously been considered free speech, and police continually growing more aggressive, has just started spiralling and who the hell knows where it'll end