Guy who doesn’t know CBT has two meanings: I love it when my therapist crushes my balls in a vise

“Wow, I can’t believe I have my whole future ahead of me, everyday really is a blessing!”

The great cosmic ape in the sky:

magician: they’re not tricks! they’re ~illusions~

person growing increasingly disappointed as they discover that the bounty promised to them will never materialize and that they were lied to so that their life and labor could be cheaply spent by the vast machine of capital: disillusion sucks :(

Guy who doesn’t know the word opera: what a haunting yodel

I hope this prude truck gets t-boned by the wiener mobile

Ambush gotta be the worst sort of bush

The cheapest face lift is a smile

This car found the Clitoris

I think 100 determined pigeons could get all the teeth out of someone’s head