How to tell a homeowner from a renter?
Q1: "Do you have an opinion on plunger models?"

Sink at work is draining very slowly, so, I thought, hey, just grab a plunger and clear any temporary obstructions and go, right?

Whar plunger, whar? Why dost everyone look at me like I am using a foreign word?

I am a teetotaler. A Baptist teetotaler.

However, there are days in which the only answer or description of is... "whiskey."

Today should be upgraded to "bourbon, double-malt."

Christmas cannot come soon enough.