Bruh… omg….

At least ur dads cool and (somewhat) sane

GAWD DAMN HOW MANY DOES SHE EVEN HAVE NOW????

SHE HAD ANOTHER KID????

That’s actually like insane to me…

So unobtainable at this point, id never be able to survive in the world if I pursued my dreams. God what am I doing with my life god why have i gotten myself stuck in this.

At least id feel smart doing that and like im actually doing something. I cant believe I stopped college and gave up my passion for this I regret it. I hate myself more and more everyday because of it. Honestly idk what to do i feel so stuck. As much as id love to be a full time charcoal artist its

Idk the way she handled it made it feel like she doesn’t even wanna try to keep me, i mean idc but it kinda sucks yk? After this shifts over i get to talk to my other boss to discuss my options and how ive been feeling on the unit more. God I really hope i can get the telemetry tech training.

I mean some of the nurses are nice to work with, but a majority treat me like im stupid and dont know anything. I talked to my manager earlier and she basically said that she can try to transfer me to a different floor, or get me training to be a telemetry technician (I work on a telemetry floor)

I can barely walk or even lay flat after my shifts now. Its degrading my body at this point. On my days off I cant even get myself to do anything and all I do is lay in bed and sleep. I barely eat now. I’ve lost like 15 pounds in the past few weeks. Idk im just not seeing positives to staying here.

I cry before during and after all my shifts at this point and its not fair to me. Im genuinely so miserable and drained all the fucking time. Everyone is telling me to tough it out but I dont see how thats a solution. Im in so much pain after my shifts physically and mentally.

I feel so bad actually admitting it, but it’s really not working out. I hate working at the bedside. Its not for me, even though I thought it was it’s just idk i cant.

Update; still haven’t drawn 😔😔