woke up at 4am with this thought and urgently scrawled it on a notebook. it was the most important thing on earth and I knew I COULD NOT forget it. when I got up at 7 I was like oh yeah didn’t I realize something potentially life changing? it was Sleep Now Or Forever Wear Your Jeans

boyfriend says he would give his clone "a Dutch rudder," which he informs me is some kind of masculine ritual for straight guys to do gay stuff

mightve been shit from a butt

lol out loud for real at this one

why are we “elevating” the humble grilled cheese. humble YOURSELF, and the worlds delights will be revealed to you

but is it the kind with the woman half on top or the basic syntactic operation on top

hamburger

so it's true...it wasn't a dream after all...

“In this house we believe”