I see a lot of correlation between this phenomenon and the co-opting of therapy speak by these same men to put all responsibility of their emotional regulation and happiness on their partners.

This is subtweeting david harbour

FREAK!

I do think there is a portion of these men utilizing these tactics completely on purpose to create chaos and violence in their relationships.

Uprooting the stability of one’s personal life especially after a big move or transitioning into a LDR or a major dual contract like a mortgage is a very common tactic for abusers. Of course there are ways to do it that are not abusive but that requires care and intention, that is the basis of ENM.

One the hardest things to overcome as a victim of abuse is the idea that you created the environment in which you were abused and are just as much a guilty party as your abuser. A lot of these men are giving false choices and ultimatums and that IS NOT ENM

I’ve see an astronomic amount of systemically straight men utilizing ENM archetypes of conversation to commit egregious acts of mental and emotional abuse under the guise of being “radically genuine” w their partners who have no choice but to assume benefit of the doubt.

Snicker dates!! Dates, peanut butter, chocolate, peanut bits!! Definitely worth looking for a recipe I prefer them fresh out of the fridge and you can always substitute the nut/nut butter or opt for a darker chocolate

I do feel that users reactions to twitter influences reactions to meta’s choices. The truth is we didn’t have a widely available twt alternative until bsky was open forum and we don’t have anything like buy nothing or market place and honestly younger audiences aren’t here en masse yet. It’s lonely.

I also *definitely* understand how much particular people need those connections/need to feel collective sadness right now. I just knew it was better for my health to deactivate before its downfall and that was an easier choice to make as I’ve already done the same w twitter.

I left a buy nothing group and one of my only family members that i still choose to talk to (we have each other’s numbers but it’s good to be reminded of someone when they shout into the void) It also feels like all of my friends are on the other side of that button on instagram, definitely mourning

I can’t stick around to see this prominent thread through my entire social life rot from the inside out like I did with twt. I also know that in making this choice I forfeit quite a bit of my agency in connecting with those relationships for a little while. I can begin to be okay with that.

I remember the endless barrage of shit updates with twitter and the last straw it took for me to feel nothing but exhaustion and I had to make a choice for myself and my health and being gen z ik it’s a bit silly but I truly would like to keep my memories of instagram untainted if I can.

And I can’t help but feel we shouldn’t have to settle. I understand the true need for emergency communication that can happen from anywhere at any time that facebook provides but if I am creating community what’s the point if the space itself is hostile towards me and my loved ones.

However, I do feel that all of my social circles exist on the other side of that button and I am mourning that a bit. I had conversations abt the community aspects of both apps and the emergency notification and communication system of specifically facebook especially right now with the fires.

I understand that Instagram, where I have created a lot of chosen community, and facebook, where predominantly my family remains, will become an unsafe space for me. This was an easy decision to make after my choice w twitter once timestamps were removed and it was clear that chaos is the only goal.