struggling with socialising but never being invited to socialise kinda sucks ngl ;w;

feel so isolated seeing others have fun in groups and i'm just watching from the sidelines wondering why i'm never invited anymore when i used to be.

any fellow streamers just ALWAYS feel like they're a shit streamer bc they never grow in viewership or follows?

cos my brain is back to fixating on that and it is STINKY >:(

when you're lonely but struggle w/ social interactions ;w;

struggling so badly this year w/ the post-xmas dysregulation + depression! 😵‍💫

feeling super dissociated, my whole body is in pain, i feel anxious for the new year, not really enjoying much atm just going through the motions ;w;

feeling really really shitty 😔

never felt more depressed in my life :)) feeling like a complete failure of a streamer, person, fundraiser rn. everything feels hopeless and i feel utterly shit.

genuinely so close to giving up on so many things. i work myself to the point of burnout trying to improve streams, my discord etc. and it goes pretty much unnoticed. it breaks my heart bc i often wonder how many people would notice if i just stopped streaming or deleted my discord.

find it really hard to know when to give up on something but i think it's approaching a time now where i may quit one of the biggest things in my life and my brain is in turmoil !! 😵‍💫🌀

it used to be the best thing but now it seems to just cause me more pain.

✍🏻 dear diary, how do i get my mum to understand i am not being lazy or putting things off i am EXHAUSTED with fatigue which is SO different to being just tired !!

going to be going to the doctors to push for some kind of assessment for chronic fatigue syndrome bc i seem to fit the criteria ;w;

just got back from a very exhausting trip...and my mum doesn't seem to care that i'm exhausted + my fatigue is super bad :( she keeps making me do errands for her going up and down two flights of stairs.

she's disabled too and it makes me feel like my health doesn't matter to her

actually feeling a *bit* better today - dissociation is such a weird feeling and it makes you feel so out of whack >:(

hoping to feel even better the next few days for my flight/trip to the netherlands on weds! ✈️

very much not feeling great atm ;w; dissociation is like v high rn and it's around ovulation so i imagine that's what is causing it !!

kinda stressy cos i fly out of country on weds morning !! 🥹

this is mainly a yap/vent account but here's a lil about me!

name: flynn
age: 27
pronouns: she/they
identity: asexual androsexual demi-girl

lore:
♡ chronic depression, anxiety + ocd
♡ late diagnosed adhd
♡ suspected pmdd
♡ suspected chronic fatigue
♡ semi ✨medical mystery✨

#promosky