rolo tomasi
@fpgatorade.bsky.social
he/him. I like to feed stray cats and burn my fingers. once I sawr a blimp
if you increased the gravity of earth enough all crocker spaniels would be basset hounds
October 27, 2023 at 1:45 AM
if you increased the gravity of earth enough all crocker spaniels would be basset hounds
if you drive a lowrider pickup in the uk is it called a lowrry?
October 1, 2023 at 5:44 PM
if you drive a lowrider pickup in the uk is it called a lowrry?
the main reason I know I'm not being abducted by aliens is I don't think a species that has mastered interstellar travel would let me have diarrhea this often
August 8, 2023 at 4:36 AM
the main reason I know I'm not being abducted by aliens is I don't think a species that has mastered interstellar travel would let me have diarrhea this often
if having sex in an airplane is joining the mile high club, then does beating off in the bathroom count as skyjacking?
July 25, 2023 at 1:04 AM
if having sex in an airplane is joining the mile high club, then does beating off in the bathroom count as skyjacking?
spirit airlines should come up with a mascot based on max headroom called min legroom
July 15, 2023 at 11:30 PM
spirit airlines should come up with a mascot based on max headroom called min legroom
pine keeps on gripping
gripping
gripping
into the pooper
gripping
gripping
into the pooper
July 15, 2023 at 5:26 AM
pine keeps on gripping
gripping
gripping
into the pooper
gripping
gripping
into the pooper
he's gonna end up whipping out a terminator looking, tesla branded, telescoping mechanical dick powered by hydraulics and servo motors and as soon as the contest starts it's going to poke out the eye of myspace tom from 30 yards away
July 10, 2023 at 3:08 PM
he's gonna end up whipping out a terminator looking, tesla branded, telescoping mechanical dick powered by hydraulics and servo motors and as soon as the contest starts it's going to poke out the eye of myspace tom from 30 yards away
I was just about to get rich by inventing activated charcoal underwear for farting but there really is nothing new under the sun or behind the ass
July 6, 2023 at 5:27 AM
I was just about to get rich by inventing activated charcoal underwear for farting but there really is nothing new under the sun or behind the ass
if I were hunter biden I'd be dropping bags of coke at the white house on purpose. I'd turn the resolute desk into the residue desk. I'd use a bust of eleanor roosevelt to crush oxy and use betsy ross' flag to clean the soot from my bubble pipe. I'd make crystal meth in the lincoln bedroom
July 5, 2023 at 5:37 AM
if I were hunter biden I'd be dropping bags of coke at the white house on purpose. I'd turn the resolute desk into the residue desk. I'd use a bust of eleanor roosevelt to crush oxy and use betsy ross' flag to clean the soot from my bubble pipe. I'd make crystal meth in the lincoln bedroom
brian johnson from ac/dc cleaning his bathroom: she was a stank latrine, she kept her water green, she was the worst damn toilet that I've ever seen
July 4, 2023 at 10:17 PM
brian johnson from ac/dc cleaning his bathroom: she was a stank latrine, she kept her water green, she was the worst damn toilet that I've ever seen
Reposted by rolo tomasi
Reposted by rolo tomasi
would have loved smoking crack with hunter biden if i’m being honest
July 3, 2023 at 12:47 AM
would have loved smoking crack with hunter biden if i’m being honest
traveling to israel so that I can drill a hole in the wailing wall and charge people $15 a pop to see mary magdalene's glory hole
July 3, 2023 at 12:46 AM
traveling to israel so that I can drill a hole in the wailing wall and charge people $15 a pop to see mary magdalene's glory hole
let he who has never asked quora how darwin was right if monkeys still exist cast the first stone
July 2, 2023 at 9:04 PM
let he who has never asked quora how darwin was right if monkeys still exist cast the first stone
the first few times I heard janet jackson singing "like a moth to a flame burned by the fire" I thought she said "broth" instead of "moth" and I didn't understand why this song about soup was so horny
July 2, 2023 at 3:57 AM
the first few times I heard janet jackson singing "like a moth to a flame burned by the fire" I thought she said "broth" instead of "moth" and I didn't understand why this song about soup was so horny
it's pretty messed up that the animals get to inject venom when they bite into something yet the best that we can muster is to give it gingivitis
July 1, 2023 at 4:45 AM
it's pretty messed up that the animals get to inject venom when they bite into something yet the best that we can muster is to give it gingivitis
Reposted by rolo tomasi
Worst neoliberal voice you’ve ever heard: 🎶“here is something you can’t understand, how I could vote GILLIBRAND”🎶
June 30, 2023 at 8:55 PM
Worst neoliberal voice you’ve ever heard: 🎶“here is something you can’t understand, how I could vote GILLIBRAND”🎶
thank you for calling used to be a pizza hut mortuary and crematorium, how may I vaporize a corpse for you?
June 30, 2023 at 8:07 PM
thank you for calling used to be a pizza hut mortuary and crematorium, how may I vaporize a corpse for you?
in a 5-4 ruling, today the supreme court found that motorcycle helmet laws violate the first amendment right to look bitchin
June 30, 2023 at 4:40 PM
in a 5-4 ruling, today the supreme court found that motorcycle helmet laws violate the first amendment right to look bitchin
breaking: in a major blow to public health, the supreme court ruled today that all babies must smoke lucky strikes
June 30, 2023 at 4:08 PM
breaking: in a major blow to public health, the supreme court ruled today that all babies must smoke lucky strikes
who cares if a cloud has a silver lining? it's way up there and if it's about to start raining one troy ounce ingots I'm getting the fuck to shelter
June 29, 2023 at 2:38 AM
who cares if a cloud has a silver lining? it's way up there and if it's about to start raining one troy ounce ingots I'm getting the fuck to shelter