I know you don't have other patients yet this morning, Michael. I was the first person here by a pretty significant margin

If I died and went to hell while in the doctors offices waiting room, I'm fully convinced that I would not notice a difference

I bet the first person who ate asparagus and then realized it made their pee smell different was fucking shook. Like, I bet they were 100% convinced that it was going to poison them

New authors! Things you absolutely do not have to pay for:

-Being published

-Being interviewed on a podcast

-Book reviews

Things you should be paid for:

-Being published

-Your time and expertise

It doesn't matter how new you are. You never need to pay to play 🖤

Two stages of writing:

1) This shouldn't take too long
2) Oh no

Man, fuck twitter