I saw a huge opossum walk through my backyard and I didn’t know who to tell this exciting news to so I’m posting it here. #important
January 9, 2026 at 3:57 PM
I saw a huge opossum walk through my backyard and I didn’t know who to tell this exciting news to so I’m posting it here. #important
Winter: Does it have to be dark _and_ cold?
December 30, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Winter: Does it have to be dark _and_ cold?
My father-in-law is the cutest because he just got some Chex mix and said “Ooohhh! Snackies!”
December 24, 2025 at 3:04 AM
My father-in-law is the cutest because he just got some Chex mix and said “Ooohhh! Snackies!”
I bought shampoo on eBay. What a time to be alive.
December 24, 2025 at 3:02 AM
I bought shampoo on eBay. What a time to be alive.
How many bitches you know shred their own cheese?
December 18, 2025 at 3:16 AM
How many bitches you know shred their own cheese?
I don’t like those cars with the disapproving headlights
December 18, 2025 at 12:52 AM
I don’t like those cars with the disapproving headlights
Is your spouse playing Rod Stewart on vinyl the day before your birthday grounds for divorce?
October 26, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Is your spouse playing Rod Stewart on vinyl the day before your birthday grounds for divorce?
Is your spouse asking for ham steaks for dinner way too often grounds for divorce? Asking for a friend.
October 21, 2025 at 10:16 PM
Is your spouse asking for ham steaks for dinner way too often grounds for divorce? Asking for a friend.
I eat more string cheese as an adult than I ever could have predicted.
October 15, 2025 at 4:45 PM
I eat more string cheese as an adult than I ever could have predicted.
The Vermont license plate is the best license plate and it’s not up for debate.
August 7, 2025 at 10:28 PM
The Vermont license plate is the best license plate and it’s not up for debate.
Wagon Wheel led me to believe Johnson City, Tennessee, would somehow be more exciting than it is.
August 1, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Wagon Wheel led me to believe Johnson City, Tennessee, would somehow be more exciting than it is.
This morning I mixed super ripe mango and blueberries into my oatmeal instead of just blueberries and now I finally know what Ricky Martin was talking about in that song.
July 29, 2025 at 2:34 PM
This morning I mixed super ripe mango and blueberries into my oatmeal instead of just blueberries and now I finally know what Ricky Martin was talking about in that song.
Does anyone know how I can get that one Chuck Mangione song out of my head? Please send help. 🙏
July 28, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Does anyone know how I can get that one Chuck Mangione song out of my head? Please send help. 🙏
I love telling people to go to the doctor for things I should probably go to the doctor for.
July 22, 2025 at 3:16 PM
I love telling people to go to the doctor for things I should probably go to the doctor for.
I woulda shanked a b*tch to play Puck.
July 12, 2025 at 12:43 AM
I woulda shanked a b*tch to play Puck.
Shoutout to the guy in the fedora and Smashmouth T-shirt gleefully riding a scooter down Goodman St. You, sir, are freer than the rest of us will ever be.
July 2, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Shoutout to the guy in the fedora and Smashmouth T-shirt gleefully riding a scooter down Goodman St. You, sir, are freer than the rest of us will ever be.
Reposted by Fran Reed
AI will not destroy jobs, it will actually create jobs. For every AI you have to assign 2 guys to monitor it because it's stupid and sucks ass
September 22, 2023 at 6:24 PM
AI will not destroy jobs, it will actually create jobs. For every AI you have to assign 2 guys to monitor it because it's stupid and sucks ass
I don’t mean to brag, but I just found a file someone needed from 2021 and it only took me like 45 minutes.
June 19, 2025 at 5:49 PM
I don’t mean to brag, but I just found a file someone needed from 2021 and it only took me like 45 minutes.
I love everyone. Except people who stick their dog’s shit where it doesn’t belong and people who leave a mess in theaters and restaurants and people who don’t return their carts and people who litter. You people can suck a nut.
May 16, 2025 at 3:00 PM
I love everyone. Except people who stick their dog’s shit where it doesn’t belong and people who leave a mess in theaters and restaurants and people who don’t return their carts and people who litter. You people can suck a nut.
I know it’s 2025, but I like Billy Eichner.
May 9, 2025 at 2:14 AM
I know it’s 2025, but I like Billy Eichner.
I feel like one of the worst things that can happen is someone tells you the bird is a “gull” and “there is no such thing as a seagull” because then you start hearing the word seagull 50 times a week and you either have to be a dick and correct them or die a little each time you hear it.
April 28, 2025 at 8:30 PM
I feel like one of the worst things that can happen is someone tells you the bird is a “gull” and “there is no such thing as a seagull” because then you start hearing the word seagull 50 times a week and you either have to be a dick and correct them or die a little each time you hear it.
I have to live with the fact I once went into a Dominos and asked if they “still do a $5 hot and ready.” :(
April 20, 2025 at 12:50 AM
I have to live with the fact I once went into a Dominos and asked if they “still do a $5 hot and ready.” :(
I would like dream sequences outlawed from tv and movies. Ok?
April 4, 2025 at 12:50 AM
I would like dream sequences outlawed from tv and movies. Ok?
Anora = Pretty Woman + Home Alone
March 30, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Anora = Pretty Woman + Home Alone