There's just something about smoking that makes me want to listen to sea shanties.

When people put flag emoji in their profiles to denote their ancestry or where they live I am always like... yes... I certainly know what country that is. I am not at all uncultured or stupid. 😂
Literally looked at the remaining flag emoji and thought... pan? No.

Just thinking about alternate middle name ideas for Chuck E Cheese. Since Entertainment isn't a fucking name I decided to keep ot a random word
....
Charles Bullshit Cheese
Y'all I laughed too hard at that.

Goddamn it, I had Irish coffee AND a good wake and bake sesh and heard someone say, "Straight up now," and I responded in an obnoxious voice, "Oh oh oh," iykyk and now I can't stop doing it. Why is this my new vocal stim? 😫😂

I just heard someone say, "separation of..." and my brain autofilled, "church and anxiety." Not state. Anxiety.

Waiting for a spa appt and this lady is speaking loudly on her phone, on speaker... other people are trying to relax. I should not be hearing your entire conversation. There is also a cranky kid that I can hear through the phone. What is wrong with people?

I know the point of "Click" was not to fast forward through the bad because you'll miss the good and be present yada yada... Give me my goddamn remote control. At this point, I do not care if I fast forward to my death bed. I have had enough. I have had like 8 years of enough. Fuck, bro. Fuck.

Duolingo needs a " my will to live is fleeing me rapidly and I would literally rather die than do a fucking lesson right now, but I also don't want to lose my streak so let's just agree to chill for today" button that let's you skip a day every once in a while.

My favorite type of character is just a silly little guy. Fuecoco? Jeff the landshark? Silly little guys. I love em.

Insanely accurate.

Singing Arms of the Angels in Toad's voice and wondering who made me this way.

When you get those post cry sniffles 2 to 3 business days after your last cry and you think, what was I crying about today, and you realize these are finely aged sniffles and you've been a brave lil guy today.

Duo is so unhinged. I have the Duolingo widget on my home screen, and look at him! He is CRYING because I didn't do my Italian lesson before work, and then after, it's like he's got his fix. 🤣

It's working, though. I don't want to let his little kakapo looking ass down.

Hate the sin, love the sinner people are so wild to me. It doesn't seem very loving to call them a sinner or say they won't inherit the earth. We are already going to hell in a handbasket baby, what is there to inherit? And then when they bring out words like abomination. How is this loving, babe?

That feeling when you hop in bed after a long day and you just 🦗🦗🦗

cricket dem legs

Every now and then I think about when Cardi B said, "tatted on my ass cuz I really like the pain," and how my cheeky tattoo was the least painful tattoo I've ever gotten, to the point that I fell asleep during the process.

What does that say about me?

Say what you will about Kendrick's halftime show. I just love how he stays clowning Drake. And the conspiracy theories? I'm here for em. 😆

You know how you can tell that being trans is not a choice? Who would choose to be a woman in this Handmaiden's Tale ass era we are living in?

Uh, hi. I'm new here because fuck X. This may or may not be my only post for a long asd time, we shall see. 😅