No one's gonna care to read this and if anyone else does, thanks I guess. But I'd know I wrote it, I'd know where I was in this moment in time, and that would have made all the difference.

So here's my love letter to this year. A year of many mistakes, of shame, of loss, of awfulness, of perseverance. Thank you for the scars. And here's to a new year of picking myself up back together again. Maybe this time I'll learn to love my shortcomings and hate the ego built on goodwill.

But I've learned that just because I'm not naturally good, doesn't mean I'm not good. I'm just as complex as everyone else, I'm not a perfect moral binary. I have flaws and I need to learn to live with them. To embrace the hatred in my heart but not give in to it.

Kindness, generosity, empathy, these things don't come to me naturally. I have to put in effort just to meet the bare minimum, but I do try. For years I've done everything I can to live a good and honestly life and sometimes I fail; darkness seeps out, and I'm awful again.

For years I hid it, locked it behind a barbed smile, laughed around it like it was a sick joke, and made excuses for it. But I can't escape it, I can't run away from my disdain for others, I can't run from myself. I'm not a good person, I'm a spiteful person pretending to be decent.

Definitely one of those "you had to be there" shows

To be fair it is still in early access so I doubt there’s much content to do in the first place aside from grinding weapon and pact mastery