Got one of these fuckers. That means they're stupid now, right?
September 18, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Got one of these fuckers. That means they're stupid now, right?
Someone at this gay bar smells like my grandma.
September 16, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Someone at this gay bar smells like my grandma.
Some people on the train pulled out some onigiri rice balls to snack on and my dumbass IMMEDIATELY thought, "oh nice, donuts." Thanks for the brain rot 4Kids.
September 14, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Some people on the train pulled out some onigiri rice balls to snack on and my dumbass IMMEDIATELY thought, "oh nice, donuts." Thanks for the brain rot 4Kids.
When you're in line for something for a long time and your spot lines up with this absolute QUEEN. Miss you already girl, thanks for cradling my cheeks 💖
June 5, 2025 at 4:25 AM
When you're in line for something for a long time and your spot lines up with this absolute QUEEN. Miss you already girl, thanks for cradling my cheeks 💖
White Lotus Season 3 title sequence is that you? #pokemon #WhiteLotus
April 6, 2025 at 4:01 AM
White Lotus Season 3 title sequence is that you? #pokemon #WhiteLotus
*someone acting out of line at the strip club*
The Bouncer:
The Bouncer:
March 19, 2025 at 5:37 PM
*someone acting out of line at the strip club*
The Bouncer:
The Bouncer:
You can find me at the Denny's. You can find me at the Liquor World. You can find me at the combination Denny's Liquor World
March 17, 2025 at 3:13 AM
You can find me at the Denny's. You can find me at the Liquor World. You can find me at the combination Denny's Liquor World
Staying at the Flamingo and it's gonna be very hard to not quote Streetcar Named Desire when someone asks where I'm staying.
"The FlamINgo?! NO!!! It was the taRANTULA!!! It was a bIG SPIDER. It's where I brought MY VICTIMS!!"
"The FlamINgo?! NO!!! It was the taRANTULA!!! It was a bIG SPIDER. It's where I brought MY VICTIMS!!"
March 13, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Staying at the Flamingo and it's gonna be very hard to not quote Streetcar Named Desire when someone asks where I'm staying.
"The FlamINgo?! NO!!! It was the taRANTULA!!! It was a bIG SPIDER. It's where I brought MY VICTIMS!!"
"The FlamINgo?! NO!!! It was the taRANTULA!!! It was a bIG SPIDER. It's where I brought MY VICTIMS!!"
Overheard on my flight to Vegas (read in the juciest Long Island accent you can muster)
Paula: "Oh my GAWD Janice is sat between two HAWT guys!"
The other one: "Paula, they're gettin' MARRIED, we can be cougahs latah!"
Paula: :They're not married YET!" *Insane long island laugh*
Paula: "Oh my GAWD Janice is sat between two HAWT guys!"
The other one: "Paula, they're gettin' MARRIED, we can be cougahs latah!"
Paula: :They're not married YET!" *Insane long island laugh*
March 13, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Overheard on my flight to Vegas (read in the juciest Long Island accent you can muster)
Paula: "Oh my GAWD Janice is sat between two HAWT guys!"
The other one: "Paula, they're gettin' MARRIED, we can be cougahs latah!"
Paula: :They're not married YET!" *Insane long island laugh*
Paula: "Oh my GAWD Janice is sat between two HAWT guys!"
The other one: "Paula, they're gettin' MARRIED, we can be cougahs latah!"
Paula: :They're not married YET!" *Insane long island laugh*
Help! I've fallen (in love with rhinestoning) and I can't stop making my shoes cunty!
(Ignore the stone that's already fallen off)
(Ignore the stone that's already fallen off)
March 9, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Help! I've fallen (in love with rhinestoning) and I can't stop making my shoes cunty!
(Ignore the stone that's already fallen off)
(Ignore the stone that's already fallen off)
Sometimes when I'm feeling mentally spicy I'll walk around like a GTA Vice City prostitute and, honestly, it heals me a lil.
#LowPolyMode
#LowPolyMode
February 28, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Sometimes when I'm feeling mentally spicy I'll walk around like a GTA Vice City prostitute and, honestly, it heals me a lil.
#LowPolyMode
#LowPolyMode
Kai from Avowed is just fish Garrus Vakarian and I'm HERE for it.
February 19, 2025 at 5:12 AM
Kai from Avowed is just fish Garrus Vakarian and I'm HERE for it.
Nothing like a new employer asking for a clear photo of me to remind me that I am physically incapable of taking a normal photo of myself.
February 17, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Nothing like a new employer asking for a clear photo of me to remind me that I am physically incapable of taking a normal photo of myself.
DMV clerk: "Why do you want an enhanced license? You wanna go to Canada?"
Me with zero chill: "YES."
Me with zero chill: "YES."
February 12, 2025 at 8:34 PM
DMV clerk: "Why do you want an enhanced license? You wanna go to Canada?"
Me with zero chill: "YES."
Me with zero chill: "YES."
The DMV clerk reading my pins on my bag:
"'Arizona Shrimp Horny'
Hmmm.
'Be Gay Do Crime'
Ok."
Me: "I shouldn't have worn these here."
"'Arizona Shrimp Horny'
Hmmm.
'Be Gay Do Crime'
Ok."
Me: "I shouldn't have worn these here."
February 12, 2025 at 8:32 PM
The DMV clerk reading my pins on my bag:
"'Arizona Shrimp Horny'
Hmmm.
'Be Gay Do Crime'
Ok."
Me: "I shouldn't have worn these here."
"'Arizona Shrimp Horny'
Hmmm.
'Be Gay Do Crime'
Ok."
Me: "I shouldn't have worn these here."
I ended up in a record store because of reasons and I asked if they had any Björk and the clerk just vaguely pointed to the center of the wall where her face plainly was and I said,
"Oh! There she is!"
And bought Homogenic.
"Oh! There she is!"
And bought Homogenic.
February 12, 2025 at 2:22 AM
I ended up in a record store because of reasons and I asked if they had any Björk and the clerk just vaguely pointed to the center of the wall where her face plainly was and I said,
"Oh! There she is!"
And bought Homogenic.
"Oh! There she is!"
And bought Homogenic.
Watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch on plane TV and she just committed election fraud. Not cool Sabrina Spellman, NOT COOL.
January 19, 2025 at 4:40 AM
Watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch on plane TV and she just committed election fraud. Not cool Sabrina Spellman, NOT COOL.
This is some N64 level lighting. Looks fake as hell.
January 19, 2025 at 4:25 AM
This is some N64 level lighting. Looks fake as hell.
They don't card you for alcohol if you're playing a Gameboy.
January 19, 2025 at 3:48 AM
They don't card you for alcohol if you're playing a Gameboy.
That plane personal light is still absolutely *chefs kiss* for Gameboy playing. 🤌🫦
January 19, 2025 at 2:08 AM
That plane personal light is still absolutely *chefs kiss* for Gameboy playing. 🤌🫦
On a plane and watching the 1999 cinematic masterpiece The Mummy, starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz and playing Pokémon Yellow doing my damnedest to pretend it's 1999.
January 19, 2025 at 12:25 AM
On a plane and watching the 1999 cinematic masterpiece The Mummy, starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz and playing Pokémon Yellow doing my damnedest to pretend it's 1999.
Always working on myself.
January 4, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Always working on myself.
Back on my Dolly bullshit.
December 5, 2024 at 8:30 AM
Back on my Dolly bullshit.