Gary Scottahorstik
@gary-scottahorstik.bsky.social
Warrior wordsmith - Satirist - Singer/Pianist - Comic - Chef
I'm all things to all people. Basically, one hell of a man and I don't mind telling you. I also appreciate my honesty.
I usually don't respond to DM's unless I know you.
Not a fan of GOP or MAGA
I'm all things to all people. Basically, one hell of a man and I don't mind telling you. I also appreciate my honesty.
I usually don't respond to DM's unless I know you.
Not a fan of GOP or MAGA
Hey, John... Remember that one book you wrote about that guy who did something and then a bunch of stuff happens?
Yeah, I didn't like that one. Too vague for me.
<cough>
Yeah, I didn't like that one. Too vague for me.
<cough>
February 12, 2026 at 1:15 AM
Hey, John... Remember that one book you wrote about that guy who did something and then a bunch of stuff happens?
Yeah, I didn't like that one. Too vague for me.
<cough>
Yeah, I didn't like that one. Too vague for me.
<cough>
Come on, Linda. Be honest. You COULD overstate it... you just choose not to.
(runs away)
(runs away)
February 11, 2026 at 6:12 PM
Come on, Linda. Be honest. You COULD overstate it... you just choose not to.
(runs away)
(runs away)
It's when you're actively using your wuther.
If someone takes it away from you then you're unwuthered or wutherless. Unless you happen to carry a spare wuther.
If someone takes it away from you then you're unwuthered or wutherless. Unless you happen to carry a spare wuther.
February 10, 2026 at 8:27 PM
It's when you're actively using your wuther.
If someone takes it away from you then you're unwuthered or wutherless. Unless you happen to carry a spare wuther.
If someone takes it away from you then you're unwuthered or wutherless. Unless you happen to carry a spare wuther.
Actually, sourdough is one word.
(runs away)
(runs away)
February 10, 2026 at 2:05 AM
Actually, sourdough is one word.
(runs away)
(runs away)
Yeah, I remember my first experience with Gochujang paste.
PRO TIP: Do NOT use as a sex lubricant.
PRO TIP: Do NOT use as a sex lubricant.
February 9, 2026 at 11:09 PM
Yeah, I remember my first experience with Gochujang paste.
PRO TIP: Do NOT use as a sex lubricant.
PRO TIP: Do NOT use as a sex lubricant.
That's boiled iguana meat. Wendy's experimented with it a few years back but very quickly removed it from the menu.
Too lizardy for American tastes - though I've heard you can still get it in the shithole countries.
Too lizardy for American tastes - though I've heard you can still get it in the shithole countries.
February 9, 2026 at 10:19 PM
That's boiled iguana meat. Wendy's experimented with it a few years back but very quickly removed it from the menu.
Too lizardy for American tastes - though I've heard you can still get it in the shithole countries.
Too lizardy for American tastes - though I've heard you can still get it in the shithole countries.
Thanks! Check out my Valentine's Day poem and tell me what you think.
February 9, 2026 at 9:05 PM
Thanks! Check out my Valentine's Day poem and tell me what you think.
Panda might be good though it's more of a crock pot thing.
You might try Bald Eagle. It tastes just like Freedom.
You might try Bald Eagle. It tastes just like Freedom.
February 9, 2026 at 8:57 PM
Panda might be good though it's more of a crock pot thing.
You might try Bald Eagle. It tastes just like Freedom.
You might try Bald Eagle. It tastes just like Freedom.
That's irregardless. Using language like that is a trajesty. It's a bomnation.
Everybody shouldn't do it.
Everybody shouldn't do it.
February 9, 2026 at 8:50 PM
That's irregardless. Using language like that is a trajesty. It's a bomnation.
Everybody shouldn't do it.
Everybody shouldn't do it.
I was given free tickets and I didn't even go.
And I still want a refund.
And I still want a refund.
February 9, 2026 at 8:34 PM
I was given free tickets and I didn't even go.
And I still want a refund.
And I still want a refund.
Kid Rock is what you'd get if you ordered Bad Bunny from Temu.
February 9, 2026 at 8:15 PM
Kid Rock is what you'd get if you ordered Bad Bunny from Temu.
If you filled an above ground pool with beer, crack pipes, and cigarette butts and it became sentient - you'd have Kid Rock.
February 9, 2026 at 8:13 PM
If you filled an above ground pool with beer, crack pipes, and cigarette butts and it became sentient - you'd have Kid Rock.
You go, girl! No compromise!
Spank his ass cherry red!
Spank his ass cherry red!
February 9, 2026 at 8:02 PM
You go, girl! No compromise!
Spank his ass cherry red!
Spank his ass cherry red!
5 or 6... whatever it takes. Be different. Make it pink or something.
February 9, 2026 at 5:05 PM
5 or 6... whatever it takes. Be different. Make it pink or something.
PRO TIP: Just eat all of it next time.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
February 8, 2026 at 11:20 PM
PRO TIP: Just eat all of it next time.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Well, now I've done it. I managed to find my true self as a woman.
I can't tell you how much my pussy hurts.
I can't tell you how much my pussy hurts.
February 8, 2026 at 7:55 PM
Well, now I've done it. I managed to find my true self as a woman.
I can't tell you how much my pussy hurts.
I can't tell you how much my pussy hurts.
I KNOW, but thanks for noticing.
Right back at ya.
Right back at ya.
February 8, 2026 at 7:48 PM
I KNOW, but thanks for noticing.
Right back at ya.
Right back at ya.
I would just cover the upper part of the wall with caulk. Call me strange.
Most people do.
Most people do.
February 8, 2026 at 7:47 PM
I would just cover the upper part of the wall with caulk. Call me strange.
Most people do.
Most people do.
Dariush Natara was a Persian military soldier during the reign of Cyrus the Great. He thought Pantea was a bitch. True story.
February 8, 2026 at 6:21 PM
Dariush Natara was a Persian military soldier during the reign of Cyrus the Great. He thought Pantea was a bitch. True story.
This holiday’s a joke
And I’ll end up going broke
All because I want to get my noodle wet.
My love life will depend
On just how much cash I spend
So I might as well embrace a heinous debt.
And I’ll end up going broke
All because I want to get my noodle wet.
My love life will depend
On just how much cash I spend
So I might as well embrace a heinous debt.
February 8, 2026 at 6:13 PM
This holiday’s a joke
And I’ll end up going broke
All because I want to get my noodle wet.
My love life will depend
On just how much cash I spend
So I might as well embrace a heinous debt.
And I’ll end up going broke
All because I want to get my noodle wet.
My love life will depend
On just how much cash I spend
So I might as well embrace a heinous debt.
Now, my girlfriend’s pretty sweet
and I know I’ll never meet
a better woman for me (and she’s quite a looker).
So, I’ll spend the cash to keep her
even though it would be cheaper
to go out and buy a time-share on a hooker.
and I know I’ll never meet
a better woman for me (and she’s quite a looker).
So, I’ll spend the cash to keep her
even though it would be cheaper
to go out and buy a time-share on a hooker.
February 8, 2026 at 6:13 PM
Now, my girlfriend’s pretty sweet
and I know I’ll never meet
a better woman for me (and she’s quite a looker).
So, I’ll spend the cash to keep her
even though it would be cheaper
to go out and buy a time-share on a hooker.
and I know I’ll never meet
a better woman for me (and she’s quite a looker).
So, I’ll spend the cash to keep her
even though it would be cheaper
to go out and buy a time-share on a hooker.
If it’s diamonds I am buying,
you can bet I’ll have her trying
new positions (and a few of them depraved).
And, depending on the size
of the sparkly little prize
I might even get to have my nookie shaved.
you can bet I’ll have her trying
new positions (and a few of them depraved).
And, depending on the size
of the sparkly little prize
I might even get to have my nookie shaved.
February 8, 2026 at 6:13 PM
If it’s diamonds I am buying,
you can bet I’ll have her trying
new positions (and a few of them depraved).
And, depending on the size
of the sparkly little prize
I might even get to have my nookie shaved.
you can bet I’ll have her trying
new positions (and a few of them depraved).
And, depending on the size
of the sparkly little prize
I might even get to have my nookie shaved.
The florists say that roses
are a treat for women’s noses
but they’re just gonna die then sit and rot.
And I can’t buy lingerie.
No matter what I get she’ll say,
“This thing won’t even cover half my twat!”
are a treat for women’s noses
but they’re just gonna die then sit and rot.
And I can’t buy lingerie.
No matter what I get she’ll say,
“This thing won’t even cover half my twat!”
February 8, 2026 at 6:13 PM
The florists say that roses
are a treat for women’s noses
but they’re just gonna die then sit and rot.
And I can’t buy lingerie.
No matter what I get she’ll say,
“This thing won’t even cover half my twat!”
are a treat for women’s noses
but they’re just gonna die then sit and rot.
And I can’t buy lingerie.
No matter what I get she’ll say,
“This thing won’t even cover half my twat!”
If I don’t spend lots of money
I’m afraid my little honey
will get pissed and maybe hold off on the sex.
So, I will spare no expense
to avoid forced abstinence
‘cause each week I’d like a couple of good fecks
I’m afraid my little honey
will get pissed and maybe hold off on the sex.
So, I will spare no expense
to avoid forced abstinence
‘cause each week I’d like a couple of good fecks
February 8, 2026 at 6:13 PM
If I don’t spend lots of money
I’m afraid my little honey
will get pissed and maybe hold off on the sex.
So, I will spare no expense
to avoid forced abstinence
‘cause each week I’d like a couple of good fecks
I’m afraid my little honey
will get pissed and maybe hold off on the sex.
So, I will spare no expense
to avoid forced abstinence
‘cause each week I’d like a couple of good fecks