i once accidentally sent this photo to my boss
February 15, 2026 at 2:23 AM
i once accidentally sent this photo to my boss
going to start responding to the snapchat stories of bitties past when they post their newborn babies and say “coulda been us 😔”
February 13, 2026 at 9:15 PM
going to start responding to the snapchat stories of bitties past when they post their newborn babies and say “coulda been us 😔”
itll be the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen in your life and she ends up a conservative religious psychopath
January 25, 2026 at 8:38 PM
itll be the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen in your life and she ends up a conservative religious psychopath
shook to my core to find out alexander skarsgård is 49 years old are you fuckin joking me
January 24, 2026 at 1:35 AM
shook to my core to find out alexander skarsgård is 49 years old are you fuckin joking me
i was doing really good but tonight into tomorrow is going to be the coldest it’s been here in thirteen years and i was not prepared for one day seasonal affective pain like im thinking about the sewer this evening like does one slide???? a little taste of ✨home✨
January 16, 2026 at 3:29 AM
i was doing really good but tonight into tomorrow is going to be the coldest it’s been here in thirteen years and i was not prepared for one day seasonal affective pain like im thinking about the sewer this evening like does one slide???? a little taste of ✨home✨
i hate 👿 new job and am gonna get ANOTHER and specifically DIFFERENT new job 👿 very soon!!! probably next week!!! no more drive the car!! 👿
January 9, 2026 at 9:14 PM
i hate 👿 new job and am gonna get ANOTHER and specifically DIFFERENT new job 👿 very soon!!! probably next week!!! no more drive the car!! 👿
new job is at the office 👿i do not like to drive the car
January 5, 2026 at 1:51 PM
new job is at the office 👿i do not like to drive the car
can never commit another crime (not that i want to) because all the mugshots and information are public in fl- can’t have the ops knowing my business i miss when you could do a little crime and nobody knew but you and the cops yanno?
December 21, 2025 at 4:54 PM
can never commit another crime (not that i want to) because all the mugshots and information are public in fl- can’t have the ops knowing my business i miss when you could do a little crime and nobody knew but you and the cops yanno?
i have tricked penny so many times and flicked her in the nose that now when i make an OK sign she gets into play mode and it’s adorable
December 20, 2025 at 9:59 PM
i have tricked penny so many times and flicked her in the nose that now when i make an OK sign she gets into play mode and it’s adorable
we are employed again let’s go
December 19, 2025 at 3:17 PM
we are employed again let’s go
could have gotten scalped stevie nicks tickets for $80 tonight but i woulda been an hour late and i am regretting not doing it
December 8, 2025 at 2:30 AM
could have gotten scalped stevie nicks tickets for $80 tonight but i woulda been an hour late and i am regretting not doing it
I HAVE DOUBLE CAR INSURANCE CANT NOBODY TELL ME SHIT
December 6, 2025 at 11:32 PM
I HAVE DOUBLE CAR INSURANCE CANT NOBODY TELL ME SHIT
who even has the energy to date i can’t bring myself to reply to anyone if it requires a single iota of thought
December 4, 2025 at 11:49 PM
who even has the energy to date i can’t bring myself to reply to anyone if it requires a single iota of thought
but they were, all of them, deceived
November 11, 2025 at 1:38 PM
but they were, all of them, deceived
i don’t get homesick like i dont miss being where im from at all but there’s a severe weather warning right now because a cold front is dropping the temp tonight to like 46° so we opened the windows a little and im like holy fuck the fresh air cool breeze in the bedroom? fucks so hard
November 11, 2025 at 3:44 AM
i don’t get homesick like i dont miss being where im from at all but there’s a severe weather warning right now because a cold front is dropping the temp tonight to like 46° so we opened the windows a little and im like holy fuck the fresh air cool breeze in the bedroom? fucks so hard
cheated on my wife with ai
November 9, 2025 at 5:30 AM
cheated on my wife with ai
my eye doctor said something in our appointment and i was like “ill kill myself like TODAY today” and she laughed chat is this rizz
November 7, 2025 at 10:36 PM
my eye doctor said something in our appointment and i was like “ill kill myself like TODAY today” and she laughed chat is this rizz
is halloween dead? the children yearn for the candy corn let them out!!!!!!
November 1, 2025 at 2:11 AM
is halloween dead? the children yearn for the candy corn let them out!!!!!!
every now and again i have a really funny thing to say but im not in an active conversation to say it and to initiate the conversation and say i have something funny to say would fully ruin it being funny in the first place and this is one of those moments and i wish i was dead
October 31, 2025 at 4:55 AM
every now and again i have a really funny thing to say but im not in an active conversation to say it and to initiate the conversation and say i have something funny to say would fully ruin it being funny in the first place and this is one of those moments and i wish i was dead
i just read the word hallucinationship and im aghast that someone could be not leaps and bounds but absolute galaxies away from me in terms of cleverness like that’s such a heater i am actively reflecting because there is actually much to consider this time
October 28, 2025 at 3:22 PM
i just read the word hallucinationship and im aghast that someone could be not leaps and bounds but absolute galaxies away from me in terms of cleverness like that’s such a heater i am actively reflecting because there is actually much to consider this time
adam brody hot ones episode dropped today so its death cab for the next two weeks
October 23, 2025 at 6:47 PM
adam brody hot ones episode dropped today so its death cab for the next two weeks
im kind of an insensitive scumbag in like a relative way and i recognize that but i just heard someone unironically try to make the liquor in the front poker in the rear joke and i think im gonna be sick
October 19, 2025 at 1:24 AM
im kind of an insensitive scumbag in like a relative way and i recognize that but i just heard someone unironically try to make the liquor in the front poker in the rear joke and i think im gonna be sick
you people tried to hide the good pickles from me and i will not forget
October 17, 2025 at 9:10 PM
you people tried to hide the good pickles from me and i will not forget
i met a girl that said “i love shitty dives. unfortunately i share one with two- maybe two and a half exes because i can’t afford to move” and i just really liked her candor about that
October 4, 2025 at 5:08 AM
i met a girl that said “i love shitty dives. unfortunately i share one with two- maybe two and a half exes because i can’t afford to move” and i just really liked her candor about that
if it doesn’t work out at least you have a new connection on linkedin
October 3, 2025 at 2:46 PM
if it doesn’t work out at least you have a new connection on linkedin