Gillie Lawrence
@gillielawrence.bsky.social
Coffee drinker. Wife. Veg grower. Classic rock lover. F1 observer. RMS Titanic obsessive. Tequila tippler. Warm blooded furniture for cats. Happy.
#Tuesday, and on Day 4 of #OlympicsAtHome, we leave the indoors and head outdoors for the second leg of the #Curtaineering. Yes, it’s the curtain shopping event. Think of it as being a little like track cycling v road cycling, except it’s nowhere near as exciting - and not nearly as much lycra!
February 10, 2026 at 9:25 AM
#Tuesday, and on Day 4 of #OlympicsAtHome, we leave the indoors and head outdoors for the second leg of the #Curtaineering. Yes, it’s the curtain shopping event. Think of it as being a little like track cycling v road cycling, except it’s nowhere near as exciting - and not nearly as much lycra!
#Monday, Day 3 of #OlympicsAtHome. It’s feline v feline in the “Dude, Where’s My Breakfast?!” scavenger hunt. Bowls have been moved (so the human doesn’t have to bend), and confused cats must locate their designated feeding station. The firm favourite, #BeastieBoyStan, has found 3 out of 4 already!
February 9, 2026 at 8:44 AM
#Monday, Day 3 of #OlympicsAtHome. It’s feline v feline in the “Dude, Where’s My Breakfast?!” scavenger hunt. Bowls have been moved (so the human doesn’t have to bend), and confused cats must locate their designated feeding station. The firm favourite, #BeastieBoyStan, has found 3 out of 4 already!
#Sunday, Day 2 of #OlympicsAtHome and there’s a DNF in the #Curtaineering. In a repeat of a recent training accident, an equipment failure caused the home favourite to crash out in a mess of curtains, pole and human. Currently lying bottom of the table (on the floor), can they come back from this?
February 8, 2026 at 10:25 AM
#Sunday, Day 2 of #OlympicsAtHome and there’s a DNF in the #Curtaineering. In a repeat of a recent training accident, an equipment failure caused the home favourite to crash out in a mess of curtains, pole and human. Currently lying bottom of the table (on the floor), can they come back from this?
#Saturday, and the #WinterOlympics are officially under way. First up we’re heading over to the lounge, where it’s Cats against Human in the #WetPawPrintSlalom. Cats are the favourites in this event, already World Champions, but Team Human has been training hard for this moment. #OlympicsAtHome
February 7, 2026 at 9:35 AM
#Saturday, and the #WinterOlympics are officially under way. First up we’re heading over to the lounge, where it’s Cats against Human in the #WetPawPrintSlalom. Cats are the favourites in this event, already World Champions, but Team Human has been training hard for this moment. #OlympicsAtHome
#Friday, and we have measurements for curtains and poles! Why did it take so long? Picture it. Bilston 9.10pm. One short-arse standing on the table. A second, slightly taller, short-arse balancing on a chair. Both clutching the end of a taut tape measure for balance. Cats watching on in bemusement.
February 6, 2026 at 9:20 AM
#Friday, and we have measurements for curtains and poles! Why did it take so long? Picture it. Bilston 9.10pm. One short-arse standing on the table. A second, slightly taller, short-arse balancing on a chair. Both clutching the end of a taut tape measure for balance. Cats watching on in bemusement.
#Thursday, are you okay? I don’t wish to be rude, but, you look absolutely dreadful. I don’t know whether to offer you a hot drink, a pair of waders, or a quick spin around the tumble dryer. In other news, curtain news, I managed to retrieve the tape measure from the drawer. Hey, it’s progress!
February 5, 2026 at 8:51 AM
#Thursday, are you okay? I don’t wish to be rude, but, you look absolutely dreadful. I don’t know whether to offer you a hot drink, a pair of waders, or a quick spin around the tumble dryer. In other news, curtain news, I managed to retrieve the tape measure from the drawer. Hey, it’s progress!
#Wednesday, and I still haven’t measured up for that curtain pole. This is probably the very reason why I got clobbered on the head at the start of the week. Actually, no, the many reasons include the need for stepladders, a mistrust of stepladders, a dodgy hip and a wife who’s shorter than I am.
February 4, 2026 at 8:43 AM
#Wednesday, and I still haven’t measured up for that curtain pole. This is probably the very reason why I got clobbered on the head at the start of the week. Actually, no, the many reasons include the need for stepladders, a mistrust of stepladders, a dodgy hip and a wife who’s shorter than I am.
#Tuesday, no cat puke, the curtain pole is still clinging to the wall (only just) and I haven’t been attacked by curtains (yet). So far, so good. Before I jinx everything though, I’m measuring up for new curtains and poles. Next time the curtains pick a fight with me, they’re going in the bin!
February 3, 2026 at 8:43 AM
#Tuesday, no cat puke, the curtain pole is still clinging to the wall (only just) and I haven’t been attacked by curtains (yet). So far, so good. Before I jinx everything though, I’m measuring up for new curtains and poles. Next time the curtains pick a fight with me, they’re going in the bin!
#Monday, I’m not talking to you. Why? Well, the cat puke on my chair was one thing, but the real insult was the curtain pole falling on my head when I opened the curtains. Cue muffled cries for help as me, and a cat, lay buried under curtains. So yeah, excuse me if I’m feeling just a little peeved.
February 2, 2026 at 9:32 AM
#Monday, I’m not talking to you. Why? Well, the cat puke on my chair was one thing, but the real insult was the curtain pole falling on my head when I opened the curtains. Cue muffled cries for help as me, and a cat, lay buried under curtains. So yeah, excuse me if I’m feeling just a little peeved.
#Sunday, when you think you’re going to be filling 60l pots for blueberry plants, forgetting that they’re still only little and won’t see those pots for another few years. Ah well, that’s 200l of specialist compost that can wait. How is it specialist? Why, it’s ericaceous you know. In every case!
February 1, 2026 at 8:58 AM
#Sunday, when you think you’re going to be filling 60l pots for blueberry plants, forgetting that they’re still only little and won’t see those pots for another few years. Ah well, that’s 200l of specialist compost that can wait. How is it specialist? Why, it’s ericaceous you know. In every case!
#Saturday, signs you’ve reached a certain age #715: when thinking ‘this weekend is going to hurt’ is less about partying hard with friends, and more about shifting compost for your veggies. It seemed like a good idea at the time, buying in bulk, free delivery. Now I’ve got to do something with it!
January 31, 2026 at 9:09 AM
#Saturday, signs you’ve reached a certain age #715: when thinking ‘this weekend is going to hurt’ is less about partying hard with friends, and more about shifting compost for your veggies. It seemed like a good idea at the time, buying in bulk, free delivery. Now I’ve got to do something with it!
#Friday, online shopping sprees are all very well, but then delivery days arrives - and you realise you have to accommodate 40l of cat litre and 600l litres of compost. So I’m sorry if it rains over the weekend. My bad. I foolishly made weekend garden plans. If 600l of compost wasn’t a giveaway.
January 30, 2026 at 9:24 AM
#Friday, online shopping sprees are all very well, but then delivery days arrives - and you realise you have to accommodate 40l of cat litre and 600l litres of compost. So I’m sorry if it rains over the weekend. My bad. I foolishly made weekend garden plans. If 600l of compost wasn’t a giveaway.
#Thursday, the car passed her MOT! Just like that. Now, it could just be coincidence, but, for 10 years I’ve been taking her to the dealership and there’s always been something extra needed doing. The first year she goes somewhere else and there’s nothing. 12 years old and fit as a flea. #JustSaying
January 29, 2026 at 10:04 AM
#Thursday, the car passed her MOT! Just like that. Now, it could just be coincidence, but, for 10 years I’ve been taking her to the dealership and there’s always been something extra needed doing. The first year she goes somewhere else and there’s nothing. 12 years old and fit as a flea. #JustSaying
#Wednesday, when it’s MOT time but the dealership I’ve gone to for 10 years has ceased any assistance for those with mobility issues. No pick up and drop off, no courtesy car, no nothing. So I’ve gone elsewhere and a lovely chap has just driven off in my car. She's on a day out to Brum! #PrayForUyo
January 28, 2026 at 8:42 AM
#Wednesday, when it’s MOT time but the dealership I’ve gone to for 10 years has ceased any assistance for those with mobility issues. No pick up and drop off, no courtesy car, no nothing. So I’ve gone elsewhere and a lovely chap has just driven off in my car. She's on a day out to Brum! #PrayForUyo
#Tuesday, so there I was yesterday, doing the daily once around with the hoover after work, when it struck me. With all the fur I hoover up each day, how are my cats not bald?! There’s just so much! Maybe I should start a line of wigs for cats who are actually bald. It could take off. It could!
January 27, 2026 at 8:42 AM
#Tuesday, so there I was yesterday, doing the daily once around with the hoover after work, when it struck me. With all the fur I hoover up each day, how are my cats not bald?! There’s just so much! Maybe I should start a line of wigs for cats who are actually bald. It could take off. It could!
#Monday, it feels like a Choose Your Own Adventure in Complaining sort of morning. It’s Monday (page 1). It’s cold (page 32). The left hip’s screaming in pain (page 57). The right foot’s equally as loud (page 83). There’s cat puke everywhere (page 97). Yeah, I think I’m done reading this morning!
January 26, 2026 at 8:33 AM
#Monday, it feels like a Choose Your Own Adventure in Complaining sort of morning. It’s Monday (page 1). It’s cold (page 32). The left hip’s screaming in pain (page 57). The right foot’s equally as loud (page 83). There’s cat puke everywhere (page 97). Yeah, I think I’m done reading this morning!
#Sunday, and not one of the four resident cats are talking to me this morning. I’ve had an abundance of filthy looks and there’s a distinct "don’t touch me!" vibe from each of them. Why? Because Saturday night was flea drops night. Honestly, you would think we were trying to kill them! #DramaQueens
January 25, 2026 at 10:06 AM
#Sunday, and not one of the four resident cats are talking to me this morning. I’ve had an abundance of filthy looks and there’s a distinct "don’t touch me!" vibe from each of them. Why? Because Saturday night was flea drops night. Honestly, you would think we were trying to kill them! #DramaQueens
#Saturday, oh chitting hell, here we go again! So, how many chitting potatoes are going to end up on the chitting floor this year, being chased around by chitting cats? More to the point, how many times will I be on my chitting hands and knees retrieving them from under the chitting table?!
January 24, 2026 at 9:38 AM
#Saturday, oh chitting hell, here we go again! So, how many chitting potatoes are going to end up on the chitting floor this year, being chased around by chitting cats? More to the point, how many times will I be on my chitting hands and knees retrieving them from under the chitting table?!
#Friday, last week I complained 'cause Thursday wasn’t Friday. This week I’m all “how is it Friday already?!” Did somebody steal half the week? Did I enter a wormhole on Wednesday? Could’ve taken me somewhere more exotic than Friday (no offence Friday). Or was it that I blinked again? #DontBlink!
January 23, 2026 at 8:40 AM
#Friday, last week I complained 'cause Thursday wasn’t Friday. This week I’m all “how is it Friday already?!” Did somebody steal half the week? Did I enter a wormhole on Wednesday? Could’ve taken me somewhere more exotic than Friday (no offence Friday). Or was it that I blinked again? #DontBlink!
#Thursday, what I really want to know is, what made the Tango Führer climb down so quickly? I mean, we’ve had spectacular u-turns in the UK over the decades, but this was a u-turn of whiplash proportions! Were US debt bonds mentioned at all? I do hope so. Quite little orange piggy! #ShortAndCurlies
January 22, 2026 at 8:49 AM
#Thursday, what I really want to know is, what made the Tango Führer climb down so quickly? I mean, we’ve had spectacular u-turns in the UK over the decades, but this was a u-turn of whiplash proportions! Were US debt bonds mentioned at all? I do hope so. Quite little orange piggy! #ShortAndCurlies
#Wednesday, when you wake up with an aching back, and can’t figure out why. Then you remember, you spewed your guts up last night. The wife has jumped to worst case scenario (as she does) and I have a deadly bug or tropical disease. Or maybe, I just ate the wrong sort of food. The wrong sort for me.
January 21, 2026 at 8:31 AM
#Wednesday, when you wake up with an aching back, and can’t figure out why. Then you remember, you spewed your guts up last night. The wife has jumped to worst case scenario (as she does) and I have a deadly bug or tropical disease. Or maybe, I just ate the wrong sort of food. The wrong sort for me.
#Tuesday, I’m not saying my focus is a little off this morning, but, when you’re cleaning up a steaming pile of cat puke on the windowsill - and your brain suddenly screams “you forgot the lobelia seeds!” I’m not sure where the connection between the two lies, but I need to do more seed shopping!
January 20, 2026 at 9:11 AM
#Tuesday, I’m not saying my focus is a little off this morning, but, when you’re cleaning up a steaming pile of cat puke on the windowsill - and your brain suddenly screams “you forgot the lobelia seeds!” I’m not sure where the connection between the two lies, but I need to do more seed shopping!
#Monday, and my, don’t you just look and feel like a Monday this morning! Well, I suppose there’s no point being a stereotype if you’re not going to show it. If anybody wants me, I’ll be sitting under a grow light, with the pepper seedlings, pretending it’s all sunshine and I’m a happy little plant.
January 19, 2026 at 9:19 AM
#Monday, and my, don’t you just look and feel like a Monday this morning! Well, I suppose there’s no point being a stereotype if you’re not going to show it. If anybody wants me, I’ll be sitting under a grow light, with the pepper seedlings, pretending it’s all sunshine and I’m a happy little plant.
#Sunday, yesterday was nice, wasn’t it? Sunshine, a hint of warmth, and the opportunity to properly overdo it in the garden for the first time this year. So yes, everything hurts this morning but oh my, it was good to be out in the sunshine and fresh air again. Just please, don’t ask me to move!
January 18, 2026 at 9:09 AM
#Sunday, yesterday was nice, wasn’t it? Sunshine, a hint of warmth, and the opportunity to properly overdo it in the garden for the first time this year. So yes, everything hurts this morning but oh my, it was good to be out in the sunshine and fresh air again. Just please, don’t ask me to move!
#Saturday, after the disappointment of Thursday not being Friday, this morning it was the glorious, slow dawning, realisation that it’s Saturday. See? The cosmos evens things out eventually. Also, impressive how quickly my brain switched from ‘what to do in the inbox’ to ‘what to do in the garden’!
January 17, 2026 at 9:12 AM
#Saturday, after the disappointment of Thursday not being Friday, this morning it was the glorious, slow dawning, realisation that it’s Saturday. See? The cosmos evens things out eventually. Also, impressive how quickly my brain switched from ‘what to do in the inbox’ to ‘what to do in the garden’!