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Bicurious Oblivion Goblin

@glassduster.bsky.social

320 followers 230 following 1.2K posts

Currently not aubrey plaza on twitter. Both the victor and the vanquished are but drops of dew but bolts of lightning - thus should we view the world.

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Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 13h

My little thing done got boatmurdered by an elephant

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 13h

Grievous testicular harm committed with a blunt instrument

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Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 13h

There’s pee in my poop and poop in my pee

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 2d

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 3d

Doctor I’m concerned, why does my poop smell like shit

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 3d

Doctor I’m worried, it smells like piss when I pee

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 4d

when biv watches Fünf Nacht mit Frederick

a man in a suit and tie with glasses says yes

ALT: a man in a suit and tie with glasses says yes

media.tenor.com

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 5d

a man in a suit and tie is smiling and looking at the camera

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is smiling and looking at the camera

media.tenor.com

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 5d

You won’t believe what he did to me after he camera stopped rolling

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 5d

My first instinct was to say I was the horse, we’re in sync

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Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 5d

Me respectfully reading your posts and chortling at an appropriate volume for a polite amount of time

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Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 5d

Aguirre the wrath of god is a true story, I was the monkey that Klaus Kinski contemplated eating

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Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 5d

*coming home from getting fired to discover that my wife is cheating on me with the pool boy who looks suspiciously like Billy Ray Cyrus*

You know, the Simpsons predicted this

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 5d

I don’t know what this means I was just reading a National Geographic article about Galapagos island tortoises

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 5d

My buttcheeks are an endangered species

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Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 5d

I hate my sausage making friend, he’s just the wurst

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 6d

It’s so beautiful when the leaves change color ❤️

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 6d

Everyone is mad at me because I keep hoisting up a boulder then falling on a glass bridge so everyone on it falls to their death

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 6d

Chicken nuggets

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 7d

For a second I thought you meant the guy from Tropic Thunder

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 7d

Old red faced white guy who gets really angry and insists he’s straight when the doctor suggests he get a bi-opsy

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Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 7d

Having special time with my uncle I don’t see much anymore was my generations “labubu”

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 7d

I don’t like how my pay goes up when I work more hours, it feels like my boss is gaslighting me into working more

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 7d

If you get a gold tier Disney plus subscription, they mail you a tissue sample of Mickey Mouse’s penis

Bicurious Oblivion Goblin @glassduster.bsky.social · 7d

You’ll always live on inside me because I drank a cranny cola with one of your hairs in it and now its molecules are part of my cellular ecosystem