“How are you going to fall in love with the world if you don’t pick berries?” Okay I totally hear you but I also think it’s possible to fall a little bit in love with the world while sitting inside during a thunderstorm with a book and an iced coffee.

Listen, period simulators can only do so much in terms of helping men understand us. Let them experience the frustration of having a ponytail that looks perfect in your hand but then as soon as you put it in the elastic, bumps.

Getting ready to go out is so much easier in your 40s than in your 20s: put on literally anything other than sweats, scrape the eyeliner fallout from under your eyes, add lip gloss, a little dry shampoo in the hair, a little arthritis cream on the knees, DONE. Ten minutes, tops.

This might be an unpopular opinion but all the wrong people are making movies. Because I can’t remember the last time I watched a comedy that made me laugh as hard as a TikTok comment section.

Can the people who make dishwashers and the people who make dishwasher pods, like, TALK to each other?

For the record, handing out credentials to famous people who haven’t earned them isn’t new. Do you know how many high school dropout celebrities have honorary doctorates?

Um, can I please have an undisclosed amount of research funding to investigate a scientific question the answer to which has been well established in the literature for decades? Cause that sounds way easier than how I've been doing it.

I’m never more aware of how much of my dad’s kid I am than when I have to spend more than 15 minutes driving. “Who’s got the green light here?” “Well I’m never going THAT way again!”

No, my connection is just fine, Hulu. You’re the problem. It’s you.

I don’t know if you know this but you don’t actually have to put cottage cheese in absolutely everything

I used to be confused by everyone’s interest in the Kendrick Lamar/ Drake feud, but Mount Rainier and Mount Hood have been beefing on TikTok for all of five days and I’m invested so now I think I get it.

Friendly reminder: narcissists intentionally create chaos so that they can maintain control - especially when they feel threatened.

Even if it was this, this isn’t better

It’s astonishing to me that after centuries of history, the people in power still think they’re going to succeed in keeping us from finding each other and organizing and building communities.

I finally saw Wicked today and seated directly in front of me in the theater were two Golden Girls sharing a bag of Twizzlers and if that’s not what growing old with someone looks like for me I don’t think I want to do it