I really laughed at this.

Man on Phone: what time is the next showing of Melania?

Theatre Manager: what time can you get here?

See also en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Butts

A hell of a time not to have taken my earworm booster shot.

Who says they’d have to use the 9/11 pattern against Israel? If their goal was really to attack Israel, they’d have found a way.

That’s not analysis, that’s Abbott and Costello. The way to attack Israel is to attack Israel. They didn’t.

Of course Bin Laden had motivations to lie. He was recruiting for foot soldiers for his gang. If he had really thought Israel was the number one enemy, he would have attacked it, not the US.

And Richard Nixon also stated “I am not a crook.”

To cause maximum disruption by exploiting the confusion of dupes and fools. Rather obviously.

And if you can’t take Osama bin Laden at his word, who can you trust in this godforsaken world, I ask you.

Nothing screams “credibility” like citing a genetic study from a university called “Bob Hopkins”.

How about the thirteenth Earl of Gurney?

It's not an IV, it's air. They have to blow up his hands like basketballs, or else they shrink back to their usual tiny size.

Alphabetized, apparently, using four-dimensional laws of general relativity.