If we get single payer healthcare, some non-evil secretary will have to find a different job so it's important we keep pumping money into HMOs.

Saquon needs to start pedalling!

Poultrygeist too high brow!?

Trump is easier to understand if you start with him being a massive star fucker

Since the Urlacher era, I wouldn't trust the Bears to beat a pop warner team, so like, 21-12.

As an eagles fan, I'm not buying the bears until they beat a real team, so maybe when they get the niners next month

Man's going to get stoned to death with literal birds

Birds player of the game is lamb