Our school nickname is the Vipers which is pretty sick honestly. Only bad part is that the kid who plays the mascot has to just kind of wriggle around on the floor at all the basketball games which is largely pathetic to look at

Recently noticed that one of our students is regularly serving food with the lunch ladies. Not sure if it’s an internship type deal or if he just likes hanging out with them or what but I’m just kind of ignoring it for now

Why do they only ever send the bad kids into my office? Nobody cares what kind of influence they are having on me? One of them got me hooked on fucking cigarettes and now my car reeks

If one of my teachers gets an apple from a student they have to kick up a slice to me like in the mafia

How come all the monsters come out on Halloween? Why doesn’t mummies or somebody wait until December instead. It’s needless competition; you are not maximizing your scares

Go Phils imo

Plummeting down the Military Hunk Index might be the surest signifier of a nation in decline as I’ve seen

Will not rest until I’ve designed a car that can kill this guy