Have any Americans considered like maybe eating something OTHER than eggs?

We all talk about the exhilaration of sending a risky text but what about a risky flush?

Bro I just got back from the Everything Sucks I'm So Tired of This Bullshit convention and everyone there knew both of us.

We are a bunch of random organisms roaming around on a tiny speck floating in the universe. Spare me with your "but immigrants have to follow the RuLeS!" It's all made up. You're going to be compost someday.

Does anyone actually count to fall asleep or do we all do what I do and think of increasingly elaborate scenarios in which everyone I know falls in love with me. (Not all at once, just one or two at a time of course.)

It's probably the ADHD but one thing I'm always gonna do is find something that feels good and then overdo it until it hurts and is awful (see: hiking, salt & vinegar chips, laying in bed).

Not well-adjusted but kind of okay at pretending

Anyone else prepare themselves for a big day by just planning to pretend to be a cool and well put together person?

When I dream I don't see people's faces, do you? I usually have dreams at night and will remember at least part of whatever dream I was having right before I woke up, but the faces are always blurry.

I will FIGHT you for the citrussy inside a big navel orange

Some of you haven't gone for a little mental health walk yet today and it shows.

Couldn't people just stop being shitty so I could stop having to learn new social media platforms all the time?