grumpyllama.bsky.social
@grumpyllama.bsky.social
Tales from Youth Gymnastics, Episode 413.
Me, greeting a class: What's up, Nerds!
8-year-old gymnast: Hey, George Washington!
Me: George Washington?
8yo: Because of all your gray hair.
Me: ....
8yo: ....
Me: Okay, that was a good one.
Me, greeting a class: What's up, Nerds!
8-year-old gymnast: Hey, George Washington!
Me: George Washington?
8yo: Because of all your gray hair.
Me: ....
8yo: ....
Me: Okay, that was a good one.
November 13, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Tales from Youth Gymnastics, Episode 413.
Me, greeting a class: What's up, Nerds!
8-year-old gymnast: Hey, George Washington!
Me: George Washington?
8yo: Because of all your gray hair.
Me: ....
8yo: ....
Me: Okay, that was a good one.
Me, greeting a class: What's up, Nerds!
8-year-old gymnast: Hey, George Washington!
Me: George Washington?
8yo: Because of all your gray hair.
Me: ....
8yo: ....
Me: Okay, that was a good one.
Not me tapping an 87-year-old lady on the shoulder and almost giving her a heart attack......
She had an impressive vertical leap, though.
She had an impressive vertical leap, though.
September 20, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Not me tapping an 87-year-old lady on the shoulder and almost giving her a heart attack......
She had an impressive vertical leap, though.
She had an impressive vertical leap, though.
Tales from Youth Gymnastics, Episode 402:
Me, to 7-year-old gymnast: How was practice?
7yo: Good.
Me: How is school going?
7yo: Good.
Me: Any plans for the weekend?
7yo: Can I go now?
#WhenYoureDoneYoureDone
Me, to 7-year-old gymnast: How was practice?
7yo: Good.
Me: How is school going?
7yo: Good.
Me: Any plans for the weekend?
7yo: Can I go now?
#WhenYoureDoneYoureDone
September 20, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Tales from Youth Gymnastics, Episode 402:
Me, to 7-year-old gymnast: How was practice?
7yo: Good.
Me: How is school going?
7yo: Good.
Me: Any plans for the weekend?
7yo: Can I go now?
#WhenYoureDoneYoureDone
Me, to 7-year-old gymnast: How was practice?
7yo: Good.
Me: How is school going?
7yo: Good.
Me: Any plans for the weekend?
7yo: Can I go now?
#WhenYoureDoneYoureDone
Tales From Youth Gymnastics, Episode 401:
Parent of 3-year-old: He has a question for you, but he's feeling shy.
Me: Go ahead.
Parent, grinning: He wants to know if you're a grown-up.
Me, laughing: Opinions do vary.
Parent of 3-year-old: He has a question for you, but he's feeling shy.
Me: Go ahead.
Parent, grinning: He wants to know if you're a grown-up.
Me, laughing: Opinions do vary.
August 20, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Tales From Youth Gymnastics, Episode 401:
Parent of 3-year-old: He has a question for you, but he's feeling shy.
Me: Go ahead.
Parent, grinning: He wants to know if you're a grown-up.
Me, laughing: Opinions do vary.
Parent of 3-year-old: He has a question for you, but he's feeling shy.
Me: Go ahead.
Parent, grinning: He wants to know if you're a grown-up.
Me, laughing: Opinions do vary.
"Outback Johnson" is the name of Crocodile Dundee's sextape.
August 16, 2025 at 1:30 AM
"Outback Johnson" is the name of Crocodile Dundee's sextape.
Tales From Preschool Gymnastics, Episode 329:
*8-year-old attempts handstand-flat-back
Me: You aren't hitting your handstand. You're just rolling right over like you're France in 1940.
*8-year-old blinks slowly
#ITeachMoreThanJustGymnastics
*8-year-old attempts handstand-flat-back
Me: You aren't hitting your handstand. You're just rolling right over like you're France in 1940.
*8-year-old blinks slowly
#ITeachMoreThanJustGymnastics
August 16, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Tales From Preschool Gymnastics, Episode 329:
*8-year-old attempts handstand-flat-back
Me: You aren't hitting your handstand. You're just rolling right over like you're France in 1940.
*8-year-old blinks slowly
#ITeachMoreThanJustGymnastics
*8-year-old attempts handstand-flat-back
Me: You aren't hitting your handstand. You're just rolling right over like you're France in 1940.
*8-year-old blinks slowly
#ITeachMoreThanJustGymnastics
How in the hell is the title of this article not "Conjoined Twin-fluencer....?"
July 12, 2025 at 8:17 PM
How in the hell is the title of this article not "Conjoined Twin-fluencer....?"
Had to go to the doctor today.
Nurse, holding up a pulse monitor: Stick your finger in there.
Me: That's what she said. Shit. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I forgot I don't know you.
#SoMature
Nurse, holding up a pulse monitor: Stick your finger in there.
Me: That's what she said. Shit. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I forgot I don't know you.
#SoMature
July 10, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Had to go to the doctor today.
Nurse, holding up a pulse monitor: Stick your finger in there.
Me: That's what she said. Shit. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I forgot I don't know you.
#SoMature
Nurse, holding up a pulse monitor: Stick your finger in there.
Me: That's what she said. Shit. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I forgot I don't know you.
#SoMature
In this week's edition of "Why I Stopped Doing LSD."
July 10, 2025 at 1:38 AM
In this week's edition of "Why I Stopped Doing LSD."
Okay, but hear me out .....
July 6, 2025 at 2:37 AM
Okay, but hear me out .....
I mean, it says "not haunted."
June 30, 2025 at 5:02 PM
I mean, it says "not haunted."
My Life 360 recap from the week, or as I like to call it, "Suck it, Vin Diesel!"
June 28, 2025 at 1:27 AM
My Life 360 recap from the week, or as I like to call it, "Suck it, Vin Diesel!"
How you gonna say don't do it, and then make it look awesome?
June 19, 2025 at 12:39 PM
How you gonna say don't do it, and then make it look awesome?
Tales from Youth Gymnastics, Episode 319:
Me, laughing at something.
8-year-old gymnast, incredulous: Why are you so bad at laughing?
Me: I.......I'm bad at laughing?
8YO: Yeah! *bounces away on trampoline
Me, great, another thing to worry about not being good at.
#IGotEnoughShitToDealWith
Me, laughing at something.
8-year-old gymnast, incredulous: Why are you so bad at laughing?
Me: I.......I'm bad at laughing?
8YO: Yeah! *bounces away on trampoline
Me, great, another thing to worry about not being good at.
#IGotEnoughShitToDealWith
June 14, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Tales from Youth Gymnastics, Episode 319:
Me, laughing at something.
8-year-old gymnast, incredulous: Why are you so bad at laughing?
Me: I.......I'm bad at laughing?
8YO: Yeah! *bounces away on trampoline
Me, great, another thing to worry about not being good at.
#IGotEnoughShitToDealWith
Me, laughing at something.
8-year-old gymnast, incredulous: Why are you so bad at laughing?
Me: I.......I'm bad at laughing?
8YO: Yeah! *bounces away on trampoline
Me, great, another thing to worry about not being good at.
#IGotEnoughShitToDealWith
Me, every time I return from a trip to Savannah: Well, the drive down may have sucked ass, but at least the drive back did, too.
#3MoreYears
#3MoreYears
May 31, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Me, every time I return from a trip to Savannah: Well, the drive down may have sucked ass, but at least the drive back did, too.
#3MoreYears
#3MoreYears
A recent study from the NTSB has shown that if you travel from one end of South Carolina to the other on I-95, eventually your eye twitches will sync up with the pot holes.
May 30, 2025 at 11:11 PM
A recent study from the NTSB has shown that if you travel from one end of South Carolina to the other on I-95, eventually your eye twitches will sync up with the pot holes.
May 26, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Hot take:
Google's "Gemini" feature on Docs is just a glorified Clippy.
I am willing to die on this hill.
Google's "Gemini" feature on Docs is just a glorified Clippy.
I am willing to die on this hill.
May 23, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Hot take:
Google's "Gemini" feature on Docs is just a glorified Clippy.
I am willing to die on this hill.
Google's "Gemini" feature on Docs is just a glorified Clippy.
I am willing to die on this hill.
I guess me and these melon seeds have some stuff in common....
May 16, 2025 at 11:59 AM
I guess me and these melon seeds have some stuff in common....
Tales From Preschool Gymnastics, Episode 214:
5-year-old gymnast: Do you know why I wasn't here last week?
Me: No, why?
Gymnast:I went to the Great Wolf Lodge!
Me: I bet that was fun!
Gymnast: And I had diarrhea!
Me: I...bet....that was less fun?
#IHopeThoseWerentSimultaneousEvents
5-year-old gymnast: Do you know why I wasn't here last week?
Me: No, why?
Gymnast:I went to the Great Wolf Lodge!
Me: I bet that was fun!
Gymnast: And I had diarrhea!
Me: I...bet....that was less fun?
#IHopeThoseWerentSimultaneousEvents
May 10, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Tales From Preschool Gymnastics, Episode 214:
5-year-old gymnast: Do you know why I wasn't here last week?
Me: No, why?
Gymnast:I went to the Great Wolf Lodge!
Me: I bet that was fun!
Gymnast: And I had diarrhea!
Me: I...bet....that was less fun?
#IHopeThoseWerentSimultaneousEvents
5-year-old gymnast: Do you know why I wasn't here last week?
Me: No, why?
Gymnast:I went to the Great Wolf Lodge!
Me: I bet that was fun!
Gymnast: And I had diarrhea!
Me: I...bet....that was less fun?
#IHopeThoseWerentSimultaneousEvents
Tales From Youth Gymnastics, Episode 209:
10-year-old gymnast: Coach Buddy, are those highlights in your hair?
Me, delayed for processing: That's....that's gray hair.
Gymnast: Oh.
10-year-old gymnast: Coach Buddy, are those highlights in your hair?
Me, delayed for processing: That's....that's gray hair.
Gymnast: Oh.
May 9, 2025 at 12:08 PM
Tales From Youth Gymnastics, Episode 209:
10-year-old gymnast: Coach Buddy, are those highlights in your hair?
Me, delayed for processing: That's....that's gray hair.
Gymnast: Oh.
10-year-old gymnast: Coach Buddy, are those highlights in your hair?
Me, delayed for processing: That's....that's gray hair.
Gymnast: Oh.
Contact me if you'd like to work in a warm, compassionate and uplifting environment.
May 6, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Contact me if you'd like to work in a warm, compassionate and uplifting environment.
How old are my eyes?
A guy just walked by and I thought to myself: "That's a cool Ramones shirt. I've never seen that one before."
Dear audience, it was a Hogwarts shirt.
A guy just walked by and I thought to myself: "That's a cool Ramones shirt. I've never seen that one before."
Dear audience, it was a Hogwarts shirt.
April 17, 2025 at 10:29 PM
How old are my eyes?
A guy just walked by and I thought to myself: "That's a cool Ramones shirt. I've never seen that one before."
Dear audience, it was a Hogwarts shirt.
A guy just walked by and I thought to myself: "That's a cool Ramones shirt. I've never seen that one before."
Dear audience, it was a Hogwarts shirt.