that can be motivating in a way though.

you clearly have quite a big heart in a lot of ways, that much is clear, and you're driven to make things work out

that's more of a me problem if that occurs like it's very easy for that to happen through no fault of others.

i can only hope it's even something remotely similar in nature i guess.

you're a very kind and passionate sort of being, i think. do be careful not to let others sap you of that brightness.

neither of us actually know if, upon actually encountering each other, you'd find a discomfort in sharing the same space in the world with me. it is a reaction i am accustomed to, and not one i'd want you to force yourself to deny out of politeness.

i mean...you have seen pictures Of me, posted online, in controlled conditions, and heard my voice in a situation where you're honestly the one showing most of a thing, but there is a vast gulf of difference between that and Coexisting with a person.

food exists in this context, as does paper, as does wood, as does pottery, as do the doors i touch to enter and exit a room or the sink that dispenses water. none of it is 'magic' or 'innate' i am at all times vividly aware of the scope of how much goes -into- every facet of daily life

we live in a world entirely, utterly, completely composed of objects construed by multiple living things working together, their lives intersecting. i can't read a book and avoid it, because the book is a testament to cooperation, and feelings of togetherness. it's inherently about human connections

it's not a thing i get like, an escape from. i don't get to be like, 'oh yay this here is a way to get my mind off of feeling this alienated' because i can feel the sense of harmony emanating off of every object i touch and every image i see.

is it really supposed to be that i'm just supposed to accept that, somehow? i don't know -how- you accept it, it has pretty tangible consequences on your life. it's a very constant and visible reminder so it feels like 'just learn how to get used to periodic carbon monoxide poisoning'

be careful this makes many of them feel guilty and like the favor needs to be returned several times over (i'm many of them)

with asahi its 'there are no brain cells in there they are too stupid to be sad or upset with anyone that's a thing they literally have to Learn'

with ui it's more 'she has the polite face but gets serious pretty quickly, much to her chagrin, since she's really bad at masking,, and she takes peoples' words at very face value', with kirara it's more 'girl is a walking disaster of being kinda wasted half the time'

i am always doing this (sound of a girl several weeks overdue redrawing her PFP to be personal yuri ship)

this is true a lot of places, it's the way it works here in america too everywhere i've seen. to be honest, i think most smiles across the world are fake

but Be Careful, you may become Psychologically Dependent on drawing the thing you are trying to doodle and exhibit signs of diseases if you go too long without