yeah I didn't know it could take them weeks to figure out how to poop and they'd just be awake and miserable??? intelligent design my ANUS

"why's he crying like that?"
"oh he's passing a diamond, babies do that sometimes"

update: he's small enough to get through the lasers but he keeps trying to eat the diamond

they just cut to video footage of the balloons being perfectly fine??? the hell is the POINT

Chris: Why are we watching disaster porn, Jenni

me: I am simply giving the people the carnage they crave

looked up what was an especially windy year and now we're watching the '97 parade where Barney fuckin bites it

when I say "we" I mean it's just me and the baby trapped in here with the Thanksgiving parade again, somehow

yeah I'm definitely sold!

the Boomer mom in question came back right before the end of the parade & revealed that mostly what she likes about it is sometimes there are strong winds & you'll get to watch someone struggle to not be dragged into the sky by Charlie Brown, fuckin agents of chaos this family

no! have I got a doppelganger?

well yeah you don't want to negotiate your eye cum in public

I'm excited to see what got one point!

on page 7 Hassle Moose walks past a red bird with no name or dialogue & now that bird stars in his own three-season Netflix series