Oh no! You made it so far! Maybe they’ll at least be a little more careful. We can only hope

All said, I’m thankful she’s had a long and loving life and she’s in good hands at the hospital. They’ll keep her comfortable and honestly, we can’t ask for more. I’ll sort out all my own stuff later.

I’ll probably delete this soon, but I needed to vent so I can breathe

I’ve lost so many family members to cancer. /I/ got checked for cancer last year bc of some wonky bloodwork (I’m fine). Cancer is always on a back burner.

I don’t dare even talk about it with anyone for fear of seeming selfish. I just didn’t expect this to be so soon. We had no idea there was a mass. Even if we had, her body is too fragile to have surgery to remove it. I don’t think she’d survive chemo.

It’s worse bc I know SHE knows I’m about to have to make some hard choices. She said today that she’s sorry she couldn’t hold out until my work offered me full time. She’s dying and she apologized for it.

I know my living situation shouldn’t be a priority right now, but I’m grieving the impending loss of my grandmother AND my home. Today is the first time I’ve let myself feel it and actually cry.

It also complicates things bc I live with her and when she’s gone, I don’t know what I’ll do. My job is only part time and several towns away. I can’t afford to keep the house, and my body can’t handle the fatigue of two jobs AND a commute.

Prognosis is not good. We’re in the “getting affairs in order” stage. They’ve already asked her if she wants to be resuscitated. I just lost my other grandmother last year. This is my last grandparent.

She’s had recurring breathing problems for years and we thought this was just her usual bronchitis. It is not. She’s got a mass in her lungs they need to test but it’s likely cancer. She’s also got congestive heart failure, they think.