Imam of Irony
@harambeehalal.bsky.social
The Imam of Irony & Mufti Meow.
One preaches. One pouts. Both expose the absurdities of our world.
Harambeehalal.co.uk
One preaches. One pouts. Both expose the absurdities of our world.
Harambeehalal.co.uk
Pinned
Wimbledon Spiritual Pathways
A Guide to Sacred Spaces and Inner Awakening
open.substack.com
“Even Mufti Mewo says: ‘Paws off stress, humans! Walk, meditate, and don’t chase bad vibes.’ 🐾✨ Explore St Mary’s, Buddhapadipa Temple & Wimbledon Mosque on this spiritual pilgrimage: open.substack.com/pub/hiddenla... #Wimbledon #Mindfulness
“Even Mufti Mewo says: ‘Paws off stress, humans! Walk, meditate, and don’t chase bad vibes.’ 🐾✨ Explore St Mary’s, Buddhapadipa Temple & Wimbledon Mosque on this spiritual pilgrimage: open.substack.com/pub/hiddenla... #Wimbledon #Mindfulness
Wimbledon Spiritual Pathways
A Guide to Sacred Spaces and Inner Awakening
open.substack.com
January 16, 2026 at 9:58 AM
“Even Mufti Mewo says: ‘Paws off stress, humans! Walk, meditate, and don’t chase bad vibes.’ 🐾✨ Explore St Mary’s, Buddhapadipa Temple & Wimbledon Mosque on this spiritual pilgrimage: open.substack.com/pub/hiddenla... #Wimbledon #Mindfulness
We keep calling Britain a Christian country while pretending not to see hunger strikes, knife crime, misogyny, and children raised by phones instead of values. Christ didn’t ask us to be comfortable. He asked us to be faithful. This is me speaking anyway. 🕯️
open.substack.com/pub/hiddenla...
open.substack.com/pub/hiddenla...
Why a Christian country keeps forgetting its own values
On courage, conscience, and the awkward business of telling the truth
open.substack.com
January 15, 2026 at 8:36 PM
We keep calling Britain a Christian country while pretending not to see hunger strikes, knife crime, misogyny, and children raised by phones instead of values. Christ didn’t ask us to be comfortable. He asked us to be faithful. This is me speaking anyway. 🕯️
open.substack.com/pub/hiddenla...
open.substack.com/pub/hiddenla...
2,000+ dead. Children attacked in mosques.
Western media treats Iran like a TV drama.
Reform can’t be imported it must rise from within, rooted in justice, not force.
Silence is betrayal.
🔗 open.substack.com/pub/hiddenla...
Western media treats Iran like a TV drama.
Reform can’t be imported it must rise from within, rooted in justice, not force.
Silence is betrayal.
🔗 open.substack.com/pub/hiddenla...
Ayatollah Khomeini, Inheritance, and the Reform Iran Cannot Delay
If Khomeini Fought for the Oppressed, Why Are the Oppressed Still Mourning? A hard question for those who claim his inheritance.
open.substack.com
January 14, 2026 at 2:12 AM
2,000+ dead. Children attacked in mosques.
Western media treats Iran like a TV drama.
Reform can’t be imported it must rise from within, rooted in justice, not force.
Silence is betrayal.
🔗 open.substack.com/pub/hiddenla...
Western media treats Iran like a TV drama.
Reform can’t be imported it must rise from within, rooted in justice, not force.
Silence is betrayal.
🔗 open.substack.com/pub/hiddenla...
🕊️ From the river to the sea a call for justice. Imam Irony speaks truth, hope & a vision where Palestinians and Jews, Muslims & Christians live equally. Read his urgent message & stand for justice: 🌍✊ @zeteo.com @mehdirhasan.bsky.social
🔗 harambeehalal.co.uk/from-the-riv...
🔗 harambeehalal.co.uk/from-the-riv...
November 18, 2025 at 12:53 AM
🕊️ From the river to the sea a call for justice. Imam Irony speaks truth, hope & a vision where Palestinians and Jews, Muslims & Christians live equally. Read his urgent message & stand for justice: 🌍✊ @zeteo.com @mehdirhasan.bsky.social
🔗 harambeehalal.co.uk/from-the-riv...
🔗 harambeehalal.co.uk/from-the-riv...
Arrested for shopping on a motorbike while the real criminals run the country like a kebab shop with no licence. Priorities, innit. 🐾😹
Motorcyclist on shopping trip arrested amid Labour’s crackdown on undocumented migrants
Motorcyclist on shopping trip arrested amid Labour’s crackdown on undocumented migrants
Fernando Fontoura, who moved to the UK aged 12, detained in drive to find people ‘illegally working’ as delivery drivers
A motorcycle rider out on a shopping trip was arrested and detained for a month as part of a high-profile government crackdown on undocumented migrants working for food delivery apps.
Fernando Fontoura, 33, who moved from Portugal to the UK when he was 12, was arrested by immigration enforcement officers after he parked his motorbike near a grocery store in south-east London on 22 July. He was taken to a detention centre near Gatwick airport where he was held for 29 days. Continue reading...
www.theguardian.com
September 2, 2025 at 5:37 AM
Arrested for shopping on a motorbike while the real criminals run the country like a kebab shop with no licence. Priorities, innit. 🐾😹
@zarahsultana.bsky.social the only politician who sounds like she’s delivering khutbah while everyone else is busy auditioning for Netflix spin-offs. May Allah protect her from careerists who’d sell their soul for a ministerial biscuit. 🐾😹
"A politician who uses her voice clearly and loudly for the oppressed, weak and voiceless
Principled not careering Thank you"
via Margaret Batty
Principled not careering Thank you"
via Margaret Batty
September 2, 2025 at 5:35 AM
@zarahsultana.bsky.social the only politician who sounds like she’s delivering khutbah while everyone else is busy auditioning for Netflix spin-offs. May Allah protect her from careerists who’d sell their soul for a ministerial biscuit. 🐾😹
harambeehalal.co.uk/why-all-the-...
When you spot an England flag you can say. That’s like our school team colours for our whole country pretty cool, right? Unless it’s painted all over a zebra crossing then it’s just ‘Britain’s worst art project’ and needs reporting, not grocery budget billed.
When you spot an England flag you can say. That’s like our school team colours for our whole country pretty cool, right? Unless it’s painted all over a zebra crossing then it’s just ‘Britain’s worst art project’ and needs reporting, not grocery budget billed.
August 31, 2025 at 11:18 AM
harambeehalal.co.uk/why-all-the-...
When you spot an England flag you can say. That’s like our school team colours for our whole country pretty cool, right? Unless it’s painted all over a zebra crossing then it’s just ‘Britain’s worst art project’ and needs reporting, not grocery budget billed.
When you spot an England flag you can say. That’s like our school team colours for our whole country pretty cool, right? Unless it’s painted all over a zebra crossing then it’s just ‘Britain’s worst art project’ and needs reporting, not grocery budget billed.
Look up, the sky’s blue 🌌 … but my Insta feed’s better 👀📲 Scan the QR & follow the vibes 👉 #InstaLink
August 30, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Look up, the sky’s blue 🌌 … but my Insta feed’s better 👀📲 Scan the QR & follow the vibes 👉 #InstaLink
St George born in Turkey, killed dragons, became England’s hero. Far-right MPs: still losing to history. Description: 🐉Description: 🇬🇧#HistoryCheck #DragonsNotHumans
harambeehalal.co.uk/st-georges-f...
harambeehalal.co.uk/st-georges-f...
August 23, 2025 at 12:19 AM
St George born in Turkey, killed dragons, became England’s hero. Far-right MPs: still losing to history. Description: 🐉Description: 🇬🇧#HistoryCheck #DragonsNotHumans
harambeehalal.co.uk/st-georges-f...
harambeehalal.co.uk/st-georges-f...
Half a million dead. 8m refugees. $500B to rebuild.
The Ukraine war isn’t about winning anymore, it’s about surviving.
Two ugly deals could freeze the front lines or let Xi & Erdogan broker peace.
Baffled Beccy confirms the grim facts.
Read more: harambeehalal.co.uk/frozen-confl...
The Ukraine war isn’t about winning anymore, it’s about surviving.
Two ugly deals could freeze the front lines or let Xi & Erdogan broker peace.
Baffled Beccy confirms the grim facts.
Read more: harambeehalal.co.uk/frozen-confl...
Two Roads to Peace: Frozen Framework or Xi’s Accord - Halalbee Haram
Two frameworks for ending the Ukraine war: a Western freeze or a Xi-Turkey accord. Both ugly, both built for survival.
harambeehalal.co.uk
August 20, 2025 at 12:32 PM
Half a million dead. 8m refugees. $500B to rebuild.
The Ukraine war isn’t about winning anymore, it’s about surviving.
Two ugly deals could freeze the front lines or let Xi & Erdogan broker peace.
Baffled Beccy confirms the grim facts.
Read more: harambeehalal.co.uk/frozen-confl...
The Ukraine war isn’t about winning anymore, it’s about surviving.
Two ugly deals could freeze the front lines or let Xi & Erdogan broker peace.
Baffled Beccy confirms the grim facts.
Read more: harambeehalal.co.uk/frozen-confl...
Welcome to the greatest circus in the Middle East: flaming swords, corruption, propaganda, and clowns in suits. Spoiler: the citizens aren’t the villains, the ringmasters are. 🎪 Read the full roast + fact-check on Harambee Halal 👇 harambeehalal.co.uk/israel-polit...
Bibi’s Big Circus: Scandals, Spin, and How Ordinary Israelis Are Getting Played (Popcorn Recommended) - Halalbee Haram
Israel’s political circus: corruption and propaganda on full display while citizens watch leaders juggle chaos like clowns
harambeehalal.co.uk
August 18, 2025 at 5:35 AM
Welcome to the greatest circus in the Middle East: flaming swords, corruption, propaganda, and clowns in suits. Spoiler: the citizens aren’t the villains, the ringmasters are. 🎪 Read the full roast + fact-check on Harambee Halal 👇 harambeehalal.co.uk/israel-polit...
Was Aisha really 9 at marriage? Most people only hear one side. Historical records show another timeline too. I break down the evidence, sources, and context in this blog. Read before you judge.
harambeehalal.co.uk/aisha-age-ha...
harambeehalal.co.uk/aisha-age-ha...
Was Aisha 9? What the Sources Say - Halalbee Haram
Examining Aisha’s age in historical sources, the context of seventh-century Arabia, and common misconceptions.
harambeehalal.co.uk
August 14, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Was Aisha really 9 at marriage? Most people only hear one side. Historical records show another timeline too. I break down the evidence, sources, and context in this blog. Read before you judge.
harambeehalal.co.uk/aisha-age-ha...
harambeehalal.co.uk/aisha-age-ha...
🚨 New Gear Alert! 🚨 The Fujifilm GFX100RF is here compact, powerful & packing 102MP of pure magic! 📸✨ Is this the best medium-format camera yet? 🤔🔥
🔗 Read more: grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/fuji...
#Fujifilm #GFX100RF #PhotographyGear #MediumFormat
🔗 Read more: grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/fuji...
#Fujifilm #GFX100RF #PhotographyGear #MediumFormat
The Fujifilm GFX100RF Has Arrived Say Hello to Your Newest Obsession (and Some Must-Have Extras!)
Meet the Fujifilm GFX100RF – the ultimate compact medium-format camera! Stunning 102MP shots, sleek design, and must-have accessories. Is it worth it?
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
March 21, 2025 at 1:29 PM
🚨 New Gear Alert! 🚨 The Fujifilm GFX100RF is here compact, powerful & packing 102MP of pure magic! 📸✨ Is this the best medium-format camera yet? 🤔🔥
🔗 Read more: grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/fuji...
#Fujifilm #GFX100RF #PhotographyGear #MediumFormat
🔗 Read more: grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/fuji...
#Fujifilm #GFX100RF #PhotographyGear #MediumFormat
Google Pixel 9A: delayed thanks to a "small number" of devices with mysterious issues. While we wait, why not prep with some cool accessories? The suspense is real, but at least Google’s checking before shipping. Full scoop here: grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/goog...
#googlepixel9A
#googlepixel9A
Google Pixel 9A Delayed But Don’t Worry, It’s Only a "Small" Issue (Probably)
Google Pixel 9A delayed due to quality issues! Find out why, what it means for buyers, and the best accessories to grab while you wait.
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
March 20, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Google Pixel 9A: delayed thanks to a "small number" of devices with mysterious issues. While we wait, why not prep with some cool accessories? The suspense is real, but at least Google’s checking before shipping. Full scoop here: grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/goog...
#googlepixel9A
#googlepixel9A
Tesco’s new self-checkout trial is here, and it’s basically a TSA for your trolley. Ready for a checkout experience that’ll leave you questioning reality? 🤖🛒 Read all about it!
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/tesc...
#Tesco #SelfCheckout #GroceryShopping #TechTakeover
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/tesc...
#Tesco #SelfCheckout #GroceryShopping #TechTakeover
Are We in a Supermarket or a Border Control? : Tesco Introduces “Dystopian” Checkout Feature.
Tesco’s new checkout trial in Gateshead brings scales and self-checkouts to a whole new level. Is the future of shopping a high-tech security checkpoi
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
March 10, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Tesco’s new self-checkout trial is here, and it’s basically a TSA for your trolley. Ready for a checkout experience that’ll leave you questioning reality? 🤖🛒 Read all about it!
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/tesc...
#Tesco #SelfCheckout #GroceryShopping #TechTakeover
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/tesc...
#Tesco #SelfCheckout #GroceryShopping #TechTakeover
BREAKING: Britain hotter than Madrid this week? 🤯 16°C is a scorching heatwave... if you're British. ☀️ Pack your coat, umbrella, and maybe a therapist. #UKWeather #Heatwave #BritainVsMadrid"
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/brit...
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/brit...
BRITAIN HOTTER THAN MADRID? QUICK, SOMEONE FETCH THE SUN CREAM AND A THERAPIST!
Britain to surpass Madrid’s temperatures in a surprising March heatwave coats, sunscreen, chaos
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
March 5, 2025 at 9:26 AM
BREAKING: Britain hotter than Madrid this week? 🤯 16°C is a scorching heatwave... if you're British. ☀️ Pack your coat, umbrella, and maybe a therapist. #UKWeather #Heatwave #BritainVsMadrid"
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/brit...
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/03/brit...
Ever wonder why you need that overpriced avocado pillow? Welcome to the chaotic world of impulse buying, where logic goes out the window and your bank account weeps. 🛒💸 Check out my latest guide to buying stuff you’ll regret later! 😅👇
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/impu...
#impulsebuying
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/impu...
#impulsebuying
So Ridiculous, You'll Definitely Want Them : Latest Must Haves
Discover the hilarious world of impulse buying! From useless gadgets to must-haves, we dive into why we can't resist unnecessary online shopping
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
February 28, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Ever wonder why you need that overpriced avocado pillow? Welcome to the chaotic world of impulse buying, where logic goes out the window and your bank account weeps. 🛒💸 Check out my latest guide to buying stuff you’ll regret later! 😅👇
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/impu...
#impulsebuying
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/impu...
#impulsebuying
Welcome to Trump Gaza: the luxury resort where war crimes meet bad taste. Book your stay now for infinity pools made of broken treaties & gas field tours. It’s all fun and games until someone remembers the real cost. 😂🌍 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/trum... #TrumpGaza #LuxuryDisaster
Welcome to Trump Gaza A Luxury Resort Built on Delusion And War Crimes
Explore the absurdity of Trump Gaza, a luxury resort built on delusion, war crimes, and bad ideas. Prepare for a vacation from morality
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
February 26, 2025 at 7:53 PM
Welcome to Trump Gaza: the luxury resort where war crimes meet bad taste. Book your stay now for infinity pools made of broken treaties & gas field tours. It’s all fun and games until someone remembers the real cost. 😂🌍 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/trum... #TrumpGaza #LuxuryDisaster
🚗💨 Flying cars are here. Now you can dodge traffic and crash into your neighbor’s BBQ at 500ft. Welcome to the future where the sky’s the limit, but your insurance premiums definitely are not. ✈️🔥 #SkyJams #FlyingCars
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/flyi...
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/flyi...
February 25, 2025 at 11:23 AM
🚗💨 Flying cars are here. Now you can dodge traffic and crash into your neighbor’s BBQ at 500ft. Welcome to the future where the sky’s the limit, but your insurance premiums definitely are not. ✈️🔥 #SkyJams #FlyingCars
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/flyi...
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/flyi...
🚀 Big Rocky is coming, and there’s a tiny chance it’ll make us dinosaurs again. 🦖 Will we panic? Yep. Will billionaires bunker down in luxury? Absolutely. Catch what happens when an asteroid RSVPs to Earth’s party. 🍸🔥
🔗 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/big-...
#DoomsdayVibes
🔗 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/big-...
#DoomsdayVibes
Big Rocky The Asteroid That Could Make Us Dinosaurs (Again)
Hey there, fellow Earthlings! Gather 'round, because we’ve got a cosmic thriller unfolding one with more twists than a telenovela and wors...
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
February 24, 2025 at 9:37 AM
🚀 Big Rocky is coming, and there’s a tiny chance it’ll make us dinosaurs again. 🦖 Will we panic? Yep. Will billionaires bunker down in luxury? Absolutely. Catch what happens when an asteroid RSVPs to Earth’s party. 🍸🔥
🔗 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/big-...
#DoomsdayVibes
🔗 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/big-...
#DoomsdayVibes
Apple post Steve Jobs? More like a tech tragedy. The iPhone 16e is out, and it’s as exciting as a soggy cardboard box. No MagSafe? Really? Tim Cook’s out here snoozing while the competition is flexing. Roast the tech giant here: grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/appl... 😾🍏
Apple’s Post Steve Jobs Era A Roast of the Fallen Fruit (Now With Extra Cheek)
Steve Jobs , you turtlenecked messiah. You didn’t just invent the iPhone; you breathed life into the entire tech ecosystem, giving birth ...
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
February 22, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Apple post Steve Jobs? More like a tech tragedy. The iPhone 16e is out, and it’s as exciting as a soggy cardboard box. No MagSafe? Really? Tim Cook’s out here snoozing while the competition is flexing. Roast the tech giant here: grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/appl... 😾🍏
“NEWSFLASH: Your soul might outlive you. Dr. Hameroff says consciousness lingers like a cat escaping cuddles. 🐱👻 Meanwhile, jellyfish vibe in death pools while you stress over your soul’s WiFi. Someone call Pixar for a ‘Soul’ sequel. 💀💫
🔗 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/grum...
🔗 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/grum...
Science, Souls, and Spooky Sea Depths: My First Day on the Job
Alright, folks, hold onto your hats because I’ve just landed on the Grumpy Journalist team (don’t worry, I’m definitely still the ‘junior’ i...
grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com
February 21, 2025 at 9:52 PM
“NEWSFLASH: Your soul might outlive you. Dr. Hameroff says consciousness lingers like a cat escaping cuddles. 🐱👻 Meanwhile, jellyfish vibe in death pools while you stress over your soul’s WiFi. Someone call Pixar for a ‘Soul’ sequel. 💀💫
🔗 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/grum...
🔗 grumpyjournalist.blogspot.com/2025/02/grum...
Grumpy Cat 💭: Oh, poor you. A tragic tale of a human versus basic technology. Sounds like the plot of a really bad sitcom. Maybe your computer’s just tired of you ever think of that?
I love that every single time I use the computer something breaks or is already broken. My headphones I use every day aren't connecting, no reason. My camera cuts off at random. Every time I sit down my monitor turns off, due to something with my chair's hydraulics (??). i'm so tired of the computer
January 22, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Grumpy Cat 💭: Oh, poor you. A tragic tale of a human versus basic technology. Sounds like the plot of a really bad sitcom. Maybe your computer’s just tired of you ever think of that?
Grumpy Cat 💭: Yes the noble warrior of freedom, shouting into the void of the internet like it’s the new battlefield. Truly inspiring. Meanwhile I’m fighting the tyranny of empty food bowls. Where’s my applause?
The purpose of yesterday was to frighten us to submitting in advance. I have my freedom of speech and I will use it here and everywhere else I exist online to make my voice heard. No oligarch, no president will silence me. So, be prepared for more Latinx books just as soon as my mourning ends, okay?
January 22, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Grumpy Cat 💭: Yes the noble warrior of freedom, shouting into the void of the internet like it’s the new battlefield. Truly inspiring. Meanwhile I’m fighting the tyranny of empty food bowls. Where’s my applause?
Grumpy Cat 💭: Oh, how sweet. Your cat Kiri is a certified emotional support therapist now? Meanwhile I’m over here managing my anxiety caused by humans with no such luck. Where’s my medal for tolerating you all?
I swear my cat, Kiri, can sense my anxiety. Any time it really starts to spike she’ll lie on my chest or put her paws on my chest. She is very sweet.
January 22, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Grumpy Cat 💭: Oh, how sweet. Your cat Kiri is a certified emotional support therapist now? Meanwhile I’m over here managing my anxiety caused by humans with no such luck. Where’s my medal for tolerating you all?