hayden johnson
@haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
370 followers 22 following 24 posts
running tits first into a wall as fast as i can
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haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
they should invent a feature where you can search for people by pronoun
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
I am OUTRAGED that Netflix has a kids show with a “nonbinary” cow.

Back in my day, we had normal looking cows (boys) and cows with a tiny waist, a big long ponytail, lipstick, blush, eyelashes, a big bow in its hair and two hoop earrings (girls).

Why do they keep forcing this gender stuff on us?
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
my photos app thinks my three best friends are my ex, joe biden, and a girl i haven’t spoken to since 2016
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
wow i can’t think of anything worse than being taylor swift right now
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
i actually love the idea of an AI actress because i hate when women are also people
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
(presidential debate 2027)

JD VANCE: poor people are poor because they don’t work hard.

GAVIN NEWSOME: i will personally imprison every homeless person.

THE ROCK: maaaan kevin hart is short as hell!
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
every AI ad is like

“hey gemini, what would i have for lunch?”

and then the phone is like

“sandwich”

and the guy is like

“wow”
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
In Texas, the fine for a DUI is $2,000

The fine for trans people using the “wrong” bathroom is $125,000

This is because trans women piss so much and so hard that if they don’t use a boy toilet, the pipes explode, which makes peepee poopoo flood the streets and causes hundreds of car accidents.
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
most trans people aren’t dangerous and the ones that are dangerous are too busy railing me to do anything bad
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
so every conservative can say the shooter was a 10 foot tall tr*nny who eats babies and killed george washington but jimmy kimmel can’t say that maybe it was just some guy???
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
yeah one of my biggest issues with trans porn is that halfway through they always stop kissing, turn to the camera, and repeat “assassinate charlie kirk” for 20 minutes
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
i never thought i’d see the right so determined to make a young christian man transgender

they’ve got kash patel putting wigs on that boy while telling him he has beautiful bone structure
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
“transgender ideology” and it’s just a depressed person who uses discord
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
one of the funniest things the right insinuates is that all trans people agree with each other
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
i wonder why people are dehumanizing a guy who spent his whole adult life making money off dehumanization
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
is there already a list of transgender people who own guns? does that list have their phone numbers? does the list include if maybe they’d want to kiss me?

america deserves to know!
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
ah yes malcolm gladwell, the genius behind “if you do one thing a bunch of times you’ll get good at it”
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
many people live in tgirl desserts where you have to drive hours to get to the nearest tgirl

when i’m president, i will make sure every american has access to tgirl
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
Like many of you, I thought Donald Trump was dead.

So, yesterday I bought 6,000 eggs in order to sell them back at a higher price once his death was announced and prices skyrocketed.

Now, I need to get rid of 5,980 eggs. I ate 20 today in a panic and I feel so so sick right now. Please help me.
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
kinda funny for people to be like “donald trump must be sick! he looks like shit!” and then it’s just a picture of how that guy has always looked
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
we could never have a revolution with only trans women cause the chants would be quiet as hell
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
how am i supposed to feel comfortable on an app without 30 bald guys screaming at me about sports betting
haydenjohnsonn.bsky.social
praying the only bootlicking on this app is the hot kind