brb writing a screenplay about a makeup artist embroiled in a web of espionage and corruption at a cosmetics multinational called three days of the contour

‘Nice presentation about great Swedish actors of the twentieth century you got there.’

‘Thanks. It’s my Max von Slideshow.’

If I were Father Christmas and responsible for the biggest annual high-stakes global logistics project known to man, I would avoid houses with a ‘Santa, stop here!’ sign out of spite.
Don’t tell me how to do my job, kid. You were on the map.

Going to set up a digital detox retreat in rural Poland called Drive Your Plow Over the Phones of the Dead.

Levelling up in the game of middle class by booking tickets to a wine fair while prepping a Marcella Hazan lemon chicken.

My milk is advertising gravestones.

I want to interview the people who go to Hooters and order the Garden Salad.