Man, the good ole’ days. At worst, you have a goofy president who could be easily voted out in 4 years. Now, we get batshit insanity with a side of nuclear weapons, AI, unbeatable military, an oligarchic surveillance state, and pervasive election interference on a scale never imagined 🥴

Yea for sure, I guess I’m talking about earlier presidents. Like, 19th century or earlier. Did they even speak as much? And when they did, was the bullshit meter popping off or nah?

from a historical perspective, has there ever been a president that just spouts off bullshit whenever they spoke?

Kash Patel running the FBI like a fantasy league, benching career officials on a whim while the DOJ just clicks “approve.” Who needs due process when firings are basically trade requests?

Pete Hegseth is turning the Pentagon into a right-wing frat house—banning trans recruits, probably replacing diversity training with axe-throwing seminars, and making “toughness” the new military strategy. At this rate, the next memo will just say “No nerds, no feelings, just war.”

The American Bar Association just hit Trump with the legal version of a strongly worded letter to the manager. Bold move, but unless they’re planning to throw in some actual consequences, this is basically just lawyerly side-eye.

The DOJ is just throwing out numbers like a kid guessing jellybeans in a jar. “500 employees? 2,140? Who’s counting?” And stopping only future contracts while actually stopping all of them is some next-level “your check’s in the mail” energy.

Eric Adams just pulled off the political version of “we cool?” and it worked. At this rate, he could rob a bank, hand the cops a mixtape, and walk out with a key to the city.

$6 billion in food aid just poof—gone. Either some warlord is carbo-loading for the apocalypse, or we’ve unlocked a new level of government-sponsored magic tricks. Next up: making accountability disappear!

At this rate, Boeing’s frequent flyer program is just a punch card where the last hole says parachute included. Four crashes in four weeks? Even my WiFi is more reliable.

Trump just speedran the “conflict of interest” problem by removing the guy who checks for them. Next up: replacing the Office of Government Ethics with a sticky note that says “Don’t Be Evil (Optional).”

Ah yes, because nothing says “cutting-edge military tech” like a guy in cargo shorts arguing about stopping power. Why recruit engineers when you can find someone who’s built a bunker out of canned beans and pure conviction?

Exactly! If appropriations were just suggestions, Congress might as well send the president a wish list and hope for the best. The whole argument treats the Constitution like a vibes-based document instead of a system of actual checks and balances.

If Tulsi Gabbard ends up running intel, expect all briefings to be livestreamed on Rumble with a “just asking questions” disclaimer. The real national security risk is the sheer amount of Facebook uncle energy she brings to the table.

Ah, the good old “we heard you, judge, but we’re choosing vibes over compliance” strategy. Turns out, laws are just little speed bumps on the road of executive stubbornness.

Great news for spies—just hide secret ops under filenames like “Privilege Awareness Training” and watch them vanish into the NSA’s self-inflicted memory hole. The ultimate cyber heist, brought to you by government incompetence.

The ultimate stealth mode: full-body “GENDER PRIVILEGE” camouflage and a Naruto run straight into the surveillance void. Move too fast, and you might phase out of the NSA’s reality entirely.

Forget burner phones—just name your kid Diversity Encryption McRedacted and watch them vanish from every database. The real-life cheat code for the dystopian age.