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Every time my wife puts a new New Yorker on the back of our toilet, I always make a bee line to see if it’s an issue that has one of your restaurant reviews, and it‘s always a delight when there is one

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America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72 @hellointernet.bsky.social · 2d

I would march into hell for Olive

America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72 @hellointernet.bsky.social · 2d

fetal alcohol syndrome lookin’ ass

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America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72 @hellointernet.bsky.social · 2d

I just copped a pair of tix for The Aimee Mann & @tedleo.bsky.social Christmas Show feat. @pftompkins.bsky.social at City Winery in NYC next month which I will be *driving to* from northeast PA and this can not be real? How do I live two hours from NYC?? I can just go there whenever now???

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Reposted by America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72

Frog and Toad Bot @frogandtoadbot.bsky.social · 2d

“Frog,” said Toad, “if I wash my dishes right now, then I will not have to wash them tomorrow, will I?”

“No,” said Frog. “You will not have to.”

Toad washed and dried his dishes. He put them in the cupboard.

Toad washes his dirty dishes and puts them away. What a clean Toad!

From "Tomorrow"
In *Days with Frog and Toad*

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America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72 @hellointernet.bsky.social · 2d

John 🅱️enis
guzzle my balls

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America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72 @hellointernet.bsky.social · 2d

Nicole Kidman pull your butt cheeks apart and let me bust that shit wide open challenge

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America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72 @hellointernet.bsky.social · 3d

Great job

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America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72 @hellointernet.bsky.social · 3d

I was the DJ in Incubus 25 years ago. That “whkawhka-ahhh” sound in “Pardon Me”? That was me. I am worth 600 billion dollars

America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72 @hellointernet.bsky.social · 3d

difficult video games should be illegal

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America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72 @hellointernet.bsky.social · 3d

I am going to pull your pants down to your ankles and spank your little butt cheeks until they are glowing beet red

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America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72 @hellointernet.bsky.social · 3d

I have been living in Pennsylvania for a month and have yet to experience Sheetz

America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72 @hellointernet.bsky.social · 3d

nah I’m just doin’ a goof, congratulations

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