I’m in the MASTER ROOM, located behind the MASTER SUITE.

no no no, yeah I mean he spent years tweeting as a dog he didn’t own

I’m still losing my mind over the stolen dog valor. I have not been able to stop laughing / thinking about that all day.

“I’ll just be sitting in this folding chair watching from the kitchen”

we turn college coaches into whacky characters in our heads bc thats whats necessary to enjoy college football but they are all straight up evil people. any of them would throw an entire roster under the bus for a 2 year contract extension

it’s not even his dog lol

and the bible doesn’t tell you how to make gumbo

my neighbor has that book and treats it like a bible

Like I get leaving for the Marvel money they backed up to his house in dump trucks but it’s very funny to me that he’s making that choice and then acting like he’s the victim.

For 90m they can have him.

I meant for your great ideas!

cirque du soliel should hire you

oh hell yeah I must’ve missed that