Carson Cambridge Masterson
@hevenstarvey.bsky.social
One, two, three, four, congress declared a thumb war
I got my parents each a thoughtful gift. Dad got me nothing, which I guess is ok since he said he stopped being a dad once I turned 18, and Mom got me a bed in breakfast tray "because you're so lazy" fun times ahead in my head
December 25, 2025 at 4:10 PM
I got my parents each a thoughtful gift. Dad got me nothing, which I guess is ok since he said he stopped being a dad once I turned 18, and Mom got me a bed in breakfast tray "because you're so lazy" fun times ahead in my head
When will we start learning from our mistakes?
December 25, 2025 at 3:09 AM
When will we start learning from our mistakes?
This Italian restaurant trying to relate hunger to finger fucking on a menu that contains HOT DOG has me questioning things
December 25, 2025 at 12:54 AM
This Italian restaurant trying to relate hunger to finger fucking on a menu that contains HOT DOG has me questioning things
The most ironic set of circumstances to ever exist is social media connecting everyone in the world at a time when loneliness is at its peak
December 16, 2025 at 10:18 PM
The most ironic set of circumstances to ever exist is social media connecting everyone in the world at a time when loneliness is at its peak
Can there be just ONE of my interests with active events?
December 10, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Can there be just ONE of my interests with active events?
@scottaukerman.bsky.social Do you ever make a funny sound like "vrrrt" and people are like, what was that?
December 3, 2025 at 3:22 PM
@scottaukerman.bsky.social Do you ever make a funny sound like "vrrrt" and people are like, what was that?
I'm chilling alone at home (which is rare) when all of a sudden I feel a deep, warm sense of satisfaction that I finally have the house to myself, and at that very second, someone came home. I have lots of little clairvoyant moments like that, but only for things that are going to piss me off 😐
November 23, 2025 at 9:56 PM
I'm chilling alone at home (which is rare) when all of a sudden I feel a deep, warm sense of satisfaction that I finally have the house to myself, and at that very second, someone came home. I have lots of little clairvoyant moments like that, but only for things that are going to piss me off 😐
I am so GOD DAMN tired of seeing the same exact assholes in every film. I'd like to see the Odyssey with actors, not movie stars. I just see Matt Damon and Zendaya, not characters in an epic tale.
November 20, 2025 at 4:12 PM
I am so GOD DAMN tired of seeing the same exact assholes in every film. I'd like to see the Odyssey with actors, not movie stars. I just see Matt Damon and Zendaya, not characters in an epic tale.
@scottaukerman.bsky.social When will Comedy Bang Bang start hiring comedians? Heh heh heh heh
November 11, 2025 at 11:35 PM
@scottaukerman.bsky.social When will Comedy Bang Bang start hiring comedians? Heh heh heh heh
I have a cat that farts when you pick him up and yet I'm still unhappy? What gives
November 11, 2025 at 11:28 PM
I have a cat that farts when you pick him up and yet I'm still unhappy? What gives
33 years old - slightly overweight, very average, maybe below average... Is this the typical candidate for anorexia? Because it sure as hell chose me. I can't eat when I get stressed anymore. My stomach hurts with hunger but I'm disgusted by food, so I have to force feed myself. It hurts everything
November 7, 2025 at 1:18 AM
33 years old - slightly overweight, very average, maybe below average... Is this the typical candidate for anorexia? Because it sure as hell chose me. I can't eat when I get stressed anymore. My stomach hurts with hunger but I'm disgusted by food, so I have to force feed myself. It hurts everything
My god, trading cards are literally like printing money. Imagine you're the Pokemon Corporation and this quarter is looking a little tight - all you have to do is get some nerd to whip up a new shiny card and then tell everyone "hey we only made 10 of these ok so they're $50k each" and it works
November 6, 2025 at 3:44 PM
My god, trading cards are literally like printing money. Imagine you're the Pokemon Corporation and this quarter is looking a little tight - all you have to do is get some nerd to whip up a new shiny card and then tell everyone "hey we only made 10 of these ok so they're $50k each" and it works
Elon Musk is slipping away from the zeitgeist, he's off news, observing from afar. He doesn't get to do that and the county really is not allowed to forget what that count did our country. His ass needs to be lit up 24/7. He's like a cockroach, slipping into the shadows.
November 5, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Elon Musk is slipping away from the zeitgeist, he's off news, observing from afar. He doesn't get to do that and the county really is not allowed to forget what that count did our country. His ass needs to be lit up 24/7. He's like a cockroach, slipping into the shadows.
Left house for work trip at 6am
Worked shitty day
Arrive at hotel at 6pm
No food
Online class starts at 6pm
Start class and order DD
The total is $50 for 2 items and a generous tip
Food comes
They don't include silverware 😔
Too tired to hunt for fork
Eat pad thai with my hands, like animal ❤️🔥
Worked shitty day
Arrive at hotel at 6pm
No food
Online class starts at 6pm
Start class and order DD
The total is $50 for 2 items and a generous tip
Food comes
They don't include silverware 😔
Too tired to hunt for fork
Eat pad thai with my hands, like animal ❤️🔥
November 5, 2025 at 6:06 AM
Left house for work trip at 6am
Worked shitty day
Arrive at hotel at 6pm
No food
Online class starts at 6pm
Start class and order DD
The total is $50 for 2 items and a generous tip
Food comes
They don't include silverware 😔
Too tired to hunt for fork
Eat pad thai with my hands, like animal ❤️🔥
Worked shitty day
Arrive at hotel at 6pm
No food
Online class starts at 6pm
Start class and order DD
The total is $50 for 2 items and a generous tip
Food comes
They don't include silverware 😔
Too tired to hunt for fork
Eat pad thai with my hands, like animal ❤️🔥
Justin Timberlake brought back sexy in 2006 only for Taylor Swift to kill it in 2025
November 1, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Justin Timberlake brought back sexy in 2006 only for Taylor Swift to kill it in 2025
Gotta find the same people I had fun with on reddit in life.... How?
A. Take a music class at the community college ($$$)
B. Volunteer around town - won't find the same people but I will find *nice* people
C. Get a new phone number so I have reddit again and find people that way 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
A. Take a music class at the community college ($$$)
B. Volunteer around town - won't find the same people but I will find *nice* people
C. Get a new phone number so I have reddit again and find people that way 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
October 30, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Gotta find the same people I had fun with on reddit in life.... How?
A. Take a music class at the community college ($$$)
B. Volunteer around town - won't find the same people but I will find *nice* people
C. Get a new phone number so I have reddit again and find people that way 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
A. Take a music class at the community college ($$$)
B. Volunteer around town - won't find the same people but I will find *nice* people
C. Get a new phone number so I have reddit again and find people that way 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️
@scottaukerman.bsky.social What do you want to be when you grow up?
October 30, 2025 at 2:12 PM
@scottaukerman.bsky.social What do you want to be when you grow up?
I am so disconnected from the rest of the world, as I post to myself
October 23, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I am so disconnected from the rest of the world, as I post to myself
In this song, :06 to :12 is some of the sweetest six seconds ever recorded
youtu.be/Of57kYATk18?...
youtu.be/Of57kYATk18?...
Bolero Medley
YouTube video by CELESTE LEGASPI - Topic
youtu.be
October 22, 2025 at 4:09 PM
In this song, :06 to :12 is some of the sweetest six seconds ever recorded
youtu.be/Of57kYATk18?...
youtu.be/Of57kYATk18?...
I really want to play music with someone, hang out and chat with people who know music. It feels like there's a giant chasm between me and that goal that I don't know how to get over. So close to people, yet so far awaaaaaaaaaay!
October 21, 2025 at 2:42 PM
I really want to play music with someone, hang out and chat with people who know music. It feels like there's a giant chasm between me and that goal that I don't know how to get over. So close to people, yet so far awaaaaaaaaaay!
@kirkhamilton.com Kirk, I hope you're thinking about doing Strong Songs live here in Portland - it would be the best live music nerd podcast the city has ever seen
October 21, 2025 at 2:33 PM
@kirkhamilton.com Kirk, I hope you're thinking about doing Strong Songs live here in Portland - it would be the best live music nerd podcast the city has ever seen
My car is my office, so when I park here, I have a corner office with a greens feature
October 17, 2025 at 2:15 PM
My car is my office, so when I park here, I have a corner office with a greens feature
It's boring
October 17, 2025 at 2:05 PM
It's boring
Well, I got banned from reddit for saying too many mean things about the president, so here I am. I can still browse reddit but I can't interact with it or anyone on it, and that was a big part of my social needs. Now that that's gone, I think some new doors opened for me.
October 16, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Well, I got banned from reddit for saying too many mean things about the president, so here I am. I can still browse reddit but I can't interact with it or anyone on it, and that was a big part of my social needs. Now that that's gone, I think some new doors opened for me.