The Food That Built America is pretty standard History Channel fare, but I'm continuously impressed by the sets. They nail it Every. Single. Time.

Could you imagine being married to someone who's addicted to buying tactical kit. Not only is it expensive stuff they're never gonna use, but half of it is actively hazardous to your health, AND it means they have crippling paranoia.

I'm gonna be honest, I didn't bat an eyelash that tony hawk and doomguy were in the same video game together. I just thought it was fortnite doing it's thing.

I didn't realize that it was actually Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3.

Look, I'm gonna be real here, the main reason why I want the American "Cultural Melting Pot" to be real is because I personally want to be able to access Jajangmyun whenever I feel like it.

All I'm sayin is if I ran the United States, I wouldn't be having my baby mama tweet about my diablo skills.

Calling a trivia show "Jeopardy" is insane. Yeah, let's put three of the brightest examples of humanity in a room and make them play a game called PERIL!

Pikmin 3 for the Nintendo Wii U.

You can pull some pretty good fantasy names from sports. Like hell yeah I'll pledge my blade to House Merzlikins of Tarkinton.

Heavily spiced (ideally), contains meat, vegetables or legumes depending on regional preferences?

Yep. Chili is American curry.

If you tell me to call it GNU/Linux I'm gonna make you tell me who discovered the concept of DNA.

If I were a sports guy I'd probably tweet something like "I need some of that Adam Fent-tili", but I'm not, so I won't.

Cat ownership is sticking your fork in the fridge because you know those fuckers will lick it while you're not looking.

I don't have social anxiety, but if a location is suddenly empty and I'm one of very few people left, you bet your ass I'm gonna feel like I gotta leave too.

You can only hate on jazz for so many years of your youth before your club-worn eardrums are making you wince at Mister Brightside played any louder than the maximum volume of a phone speaker. And then what are you left with? Dave Brubeck.

The tabletop scene of the 80's and 90's had stellar art. It is impossible to top this outfit.