Holly Ballantine
@hollynotvalentine.bsky.social
Atlanta based comedian.
Home Alone is so unrealistic. I mean I might forget my kids, but I’d never take them to Paris.
January 13, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Home Alone is so unrealistic. I mean I might forget my kids, but I’d never take them to Paris.
Going to start telling people to call me after 9 because I’m “out of minutes” and then put my phone on do not disturb.
December 9, 2024 at 1:43 PM
Going to start telling people to call me after 9 because I’m “out of minutes” and then put my phone on do not disturb.
I know I’m not ageist because I hate people from all different generations equally.
December 8, 2024 at 1:58 PM
I know I’m not ageist because I hate people from all different generations equally.
I love Bluesky because it doesn’t tell you how many views you got. Like let my joke bomb in private.
December 5, 2024 at 12:31 PM
I love Bluesky because it doesn’t tell you how many views you got. Like let my joke bomb in private.
My whole marriage is my husband showing me an animal video and me saying I want that animal.
November 23, 2024 at 5:27 PM
My whole marriage is my husband showing me an animal video and me saying I want that animal.
Friend: My face hurts from laughing
Me: you should smile more
And that is the story about how I became a 65 year old man.
Me: you should smile more
And that is the story about how I became a 65 year old man.
November 23, 2024 at 1:55 PM
Friend: My face hurts from laughing
Me: you should smile more
And that is the story about how I became a 65 year old man.
Me: you should smile more
And that is the story about how I became a 65 year old man.
Instead of Christmas cards I will be sending everyone a Venmo request.
November 21, 2024 at 7:05 PM
Instead of Christmas cards I will be sending everyone a Venmo request.
Reposted by Holly Ballantine
i prayed for days like these (being able to see likes on tweets again)
November 17, 2024 at 4:14 PM
i prayed for days like these (being able to see likes on tweets again)
There needs to be a button that says “Chill, maps. I’m just getting gas.”
November 17, 2024 at 4:12 PM
There needs to be a button that says “Chill, maps. I’m just getting gas.”