@hootiewhatsit.bsky.social
Owls, reality teev, and laughing at my own jokes. For entertainment purposes only.
Pinned
Let’s see if I can un-kill these Poinsettia plants by tomorrow
December 23, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Let’s see if I can un-kill these Poinsettia plants by tomorrow
Turnstile is just the best.
December 13, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Turnstile is just the best.
Was it just a matter of time until I got into French cinema.
December 13, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Was it just a matter of time until I got into French cinema.
Hot libs, rise up.
December 1, 2025 at 9:46 PM
Hot libs, rise up.
Tbh Hillary Duff is the coolest.
November 11, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Tbh Hillary Duff is the coolest.
Chillwave 🩵
October 27, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Chillwave 🩵
Tbh I wouldn’t mind getting knuck tats
October 23, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Tbh I wouldn’t mind getting knuck tats
Me: Do you have a small kitchen timer?
Home Depot employee: *Glares*
Home Depot employee: *Glares*
September 30, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Me: Do you have a small kitchen timer?
Home Depot employee: *Glares*
Home Depot employee: *Glares*
What is actually going on?
September 22, 2025 at 6:03 AM
What is actually going on?
This is me now
September 1, 2025 at 6:47 AM
This is me now
“Wet socks are forever. Everyday.”
August 19, 2025 at 4:48 PM
“Wet socks are forever. Everyday.”
Ah nothing like a post-run stogie.
July 23, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Ah nothing like a post-run stogie.
Got locked in my favorite restaurant’s bathroom for 15 minutes 😢
July 13, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Got locked in my favorite restaurant’s bathroom for 15 minutes 😢
Rejected. Ouch.
June 24, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Rejected. Ouch.
A warm welcome to our new robot vacuum, Joe Dirt!
June 10, 2025 at 12:56 AM
A warm welcome to our new robot vacuum, Joe Dirt!
Mom to her teenage daughter: “what should we do now? Should we go to the arboretum and walk around?”
Teenage daughter: “I want to party.”
Teenage daughter: “I want to party.”
June 7, 2025 at 6:29 AM
Mom to her teenage daughter: “what should we do now? Should we go to the arboretum and walk around?”
Teenage daughter: “I want to party.”
Teenage daughter: “I want to party.”
Was not expecting The All-American Rejects, a band I’ve never liked, to come back from the dead and become the coolest band in the world by going on a house party tour.
GOD BLESS THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS 🫡 🇺🇸🦅
GOD BLESS THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS 🫡 🇺🇸🦅
June 2, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Was not expecting The All-American Rejects, a band I’ve never liked, to come back from the dead and become the coolest band in the world by going on a house party tour.
GOD BLESS THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS 🫡 🇺🇸🦅
GOD BLESS THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS 🫡 🇺🇸🦅
Reposted
Sometimes dogs are great and sometimes you need a new screen door because a squirrel was on your porch.
May 13, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Sometimes dogs are great and sometimes you need a new screen door because a squirrel was on your porch.
More owl legs
May 12, 2025 at 2:35 PM
More owl legs
No context notes app
April 30, 2025 at 5:12 PM
No context notes app
Forever grateful to Joe Pera for reframing the task of refilling the ice cube tray. #joepera #icecubesformyboys
April 26, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Forever grateful to Joe Pera for reframing the task of refilling the ice cube tray. #joepera #icecubesformyboys
Together we can put an end to barrel jeans.
April 18, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Together we can put an end to barrel jeans.
“You’ll never get a noise complaint if you have good taste in music.” -Gabby Windey
April 18, 2025 at 4:09 AM
“You’ll never get a noise complaint if you have good taste in music.” -Gabby Windey
Not naming her Sammi Sweetheart is my biggest regret. 💔 #sweetestbyoullevermeet
April 11, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Not naming her Sammi Sweetheart is my biggest regret. 💔 #sweetestbyoullevermeet