Jeshua Lack
@hummusmonster.bsky.social
That vegan your dad warned you about.
I know I'm an old man now because I looked outside and saw the sunshine and thought "Oh good, the ice on my driveway will be melting!" That and the ear hair.
December 3, 2025 at 7:22 PM
I know I'm an old man now because I looked outside and saw the sunshine and thought "Oh good, the ice on my driveway will be melting!" That and the ear hair.
You know if Seven Samurai was made today there would be a Movie Exec being like hey what if we did another one with 8 and the 8th is Chris Pratt.
December 2, 2025 at 4:20 AM
You know if Seven Samurai was made today there would be a Movie Exec being like hey what if we did another one with 8 and the 8th is Chris Pratt.
I went to a restaurant today to get lunch and their machine failed to prompt me for a tip and even though the charge went through they voided the order so I could see that beautiful 18 22 25% tip screen.
November 22, 2025 at 9:37 PM
I went to a restaurant today to get lunch and their machine failed to prompt me for a tip and even though the charge went through they voided the order so I could see that beautiful 18 22 25% tip screen.
No one's talking about how hard it's becoming to get out of The Matrix
November 5, 2025 at 2:26 AM
No one's talking about how hard it's becoming to get out of The Matrix
I need an AI bot that can examine the memes my friends send me and then forward those memes on to friends with appropriate tastes.
October 12, 2025 at 5:23 PM
I need an AI bot that can examine the memes my friends send me and then forward those memes on to friends with appropriate tastes.
No one told me nose hair was going to be such a problem in middle age
September 12, 2025 at 2:11 AM
No one told me nose hair was going to be such a problem in middle age
Alien 3 should have been called Alienss
September 6, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Alien 3 should have been called Alienss
They taught me how to balance a checkbook in school but never how to iron!
August 29, 2025 at 3:39 AM
They taught me how to balance a checkbook in school but never how to iron!
I had an imaginary argument with my girlfriend about how Taylor Swift doesn't own the word "eras" and I lost.
August 12, 2025 at 7:15 PM
I had an imaginary argument with my girlfriend about how Taylor Swift doesn't own the word "eras" and I lost.
I've made it this far in life without knowing where a comma goes and at this point I'm not changing!
July 10, 2025 at 3:22 PM
I've made it this far in life without knowing where a comma goes and at this point I'm not changing!
The fancier the pickles the more shit the company can behind in the jar.
July 2, 2025 at 2:45 AM
The fancier the pickles the more shit the company can behind in the jar.
I saw a sign that said "Anxious, Text Jesus." but it didn't have his dang number.
June 12, 2025 at 10:41 PM
I saw a sign that said "Anxious, Text Jesus." but it didn't have his dang number.
May 30, 2025 at 11:45 PM
When I die I want Latin choral music to start playing so everyone thinks my final form is coming.
May 29, 2025 at 6:37 PM
When I die I want Latin choral music to start playing so everyone thinks my final form is coming.
If these people didn't do an Ace Ventura themed commercial where Jim Carrey says "All Sprite Tea Then" I don't want to live in this world anymore.
May 29, 2025 at 12:35 AM
If these people didn't do an Ace Ventura themed commercial where Jim Carrey says "All Sprite Tea Then" I don't want to live in this world anymore.
Not a lot of people know this but I was the first person to say Live, Laugh, Love.
May 23, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Not a lot of people know this but I was the first person to say Live, Laugh, Love.
At some point they're going to have to stop calling it Oops All Berries It's been nearly 30 years this can't still be a mistake.
May 5, 2025 at 8:47 PM
At some point they're going to have to stop calling it Oops All Berries It's been nearly 30 years this can't still be a mistake.
I'm excited-by-tan-car-interiors old
April 10, 2025 at 8:53 PM
I'm excited-by-tan-car-interiors old
My anxiety is doing a new thing where I feel relaxed and it turns that into a way I'm dying.
March 19, 2025 at 3:28 AM
My anxiety is doing a new thing where I feel relaxed and it turns that into a way I'm dying.
I'm on a call with a vendor and he just took a hit off a vape.
January 31, 2025 at 4:14 PM
I'm on a call with a vendor and he just took a hit off a vape.
In the 90s you could murder someone as long as you had a roll of Mentos on you.
January 30, 2025 at 6:43 PM
In the 90s you could murder someone as long as you had a roll of Mentos on you.
I asked my girlfriend if she would break up with me if Taylor Swift wrote a song titled "You Should Break up with Jeshua" and she didn't say no.
January 28, 2025 at 4:41 PM
I asked my girlfriend if she would break up with me if Taylor Swift wrote a song titled "You Should Break up with Jeshua" and she didn't say no.
The great face to face interactions I get at Hy-Vee since they closed self checkout are totally worth waiting 10 minutes to check out.
January 18, 2025 at 9:38 PM
The great face to face interactions I get at Hy-Vee since they closed self checkout are totally worth waiting 10 minutes to check out.
We just brainstormed a cover band called Smashbox 20 and they only cover Smash Mouth or Matchbox 20
January 10, 2025 at 8:16 PM
We just brainstormed a cover band called Smashbox 20 and they only cover Smash Mouth or Matchbox 20