Ashley Watkinson
@iamawatko.bsky.social
MR FERGUSON
Proud headteacher. Has honours but would never want anyone to know it. Reluctantly accepts that corporal punishment no longer has a place. Actually dropped out of school himself at 14. Catchphrase is "do as I say, not as I do", most frequently in reference to chewing gum
(Bonus)
Proud headteacher. Has honours but would never want anyone to know it. Reluctantly accepts that corporal punishment no longer has a place. Actually dropped out of school himself at 14. Catchphrase is "do as I say, not as I do", most frequently in reference to chewing gum
(Bonus)
August 15, 2025 at 10:31 AM
MR FERGUSON
Proud headteacher. Has honours but would never want anyone to know it. Reluctantly accepts that corporal punishment no longer has a place. Actually dropped out of school himself at 14. Catchphrase is "do as I say, not as I do", most frequently in reference to chewing gum
(Bonus)
Proud headteacher. Has honours but would never want anyone to know it. Reluctantly accepts that corporal punishment no longer has a place. Actually dropped out of school himself at 14. Catchphrase is "do as I say, not as I do", most frequently in reference to chewing gum
(Bonus)
MR ANDREWS
Didn't last long at the school. Joined alongside Mr Parker in the English department and similarly loved a verbal sparing match with his pupils. Unfortunately also loved an physical sparing match, leading to his dismissal.
(20/20)
Didn't last long at the school. Joined alongside Mr Parker in the English department and similarly loved a verbal sparing match with his pupils. Unfortunately also loved an physical sparing match, leading to his dismissal.
(20/20)
August 15, 2025 at 10:27 AM
MR ANDREWS
Didn't last long at the school. Joined alongside Mr Parker in the English department and similarly loved a verbal sparing match with his pupils. Unfortunately also loved an physical sparing match, leading to his dismissal.
(20/20)
Didn't last long at the school. Joined alongside Mr Parker in the English department and similarly loved a verbal sparing match with his pupils. Unfortunately also loved an physical sparing match, leading to his dismissal.
(20/20)
MR FRANK
Problematic head of drama. FAR too passionate about his subject. Constantly trying to get his female students auditions with the RSC, saying he has contacts there. Inevitable accusations about his closeness to the girls, but really it's just that no boys are taking drama at GCSE.
(19/20)
Problematic head of drama. FAR too passionate about his subject. Constantly trying to get his female students auditions with the RSC, saying he has contacts there. Inevitable accusations about his closeness to the girls, but really it's just that no boys are taking drama at GCSE.
(19/20)
August 15, 2025 at 10:25 AM
MR FRANK
Problematic head of drama. FAR too passionate about his subject. Constantly trying to get his female students auditions with the RSC, saying he has contacts there. Inevitable accusations about his closeness to the girls, but really it's just that no boys are taking drama at GCSE.
(19/20)
Problematic head of drama. FAR too passionate about his subject. Constantly trying to get his female students auditions with the RSC, saying he has contacts there. Inevitable accusations about his closeness to the girls, but really it's just that no boys are taking drama at GCSE.
(19/20)
MR MOYES
Head of key stage 3. Rarely teaches lessons anymore, no one can remember what his subject even was. Counting down the days until retirement, enjoying having his own office. Kids forget who he even is, leading to speculation that he's only there as he has dirt on the headteacher
(18/20)
Head of key stage 3. Rarely teaches lessons anymore, no one can remember what his subject even was. Counting down the days until retirement, enjoying having his own office. Kids forget who he even is, leading to speculation that he's only there as he has dirt on the headteacher
(18/20)
August 15, 2025 at 10:20 AM
MR MOYES
Head of key stage 3. Rarely teaches lessons anymore, no one can remember what his subject even was. Counting down the days until retirement, enjoying having his own office. Kids forget who he even is, leading to speculation that he's only there as he has dirt on the headteacher
(18/20)
Head of key stage 3. Rarely teaches lessons anymore, no one can remember what his subject even was. Counting down the days until retirement, enjoying having his own office. Kids forget who he even is, leading to speculation that he's only there as he has dirt on the headteacher
(18/20)
MR POTTER
The school caretaker. Former student at the school.
(17/20)
The school caretaker. Former student at the school.
(17/20)
August 15, 2025 at 10:04 AM
MR POTTER
The school caretaker. Former student at the school.
(17/20)
The school caretaker. Former student at the school.
(17/20)
MR PEREIRA
Mainly known as the smoking teacher. Caught many a time bumming cigs off of 6th formers round the back of the common room. These days it's Lost Marys though. Doesn't really talk to the other teachers, aside from Mr Moyes.
(16/20)
Mainly known as the smoking teacher. Caught many a time bumming cigs off of 6th formers round the back of the common room. These days it's Lost Marys though. Doesn't really talk to the other teachers, aside from Mr Moyes.
(16/20)
August 15, 2025 at 10:04 AM
MR PEREIRA
Mainly known as the smoking teacher. Caught many a time bumming cigs off of 6th formers round the back of the common room. These days it's Lost Marys though. Doesn't really talk to the other teachers, aside from Mr Moyes.
(16/20)
Mainly known as the smoking teacher. Caught many a time bumming cigs off of 6th formers round the back of the common room. These days it's Lost Marys though. Doesn't really talk to the other teachers, aside from Mr Moyes.
(16/20)
MR AMORIM
Media studies teacher. Therefore difficult to judge him as it's not a real subject. Kids doss about in his class, not like it matters. Barely noticed by the headteacher except when he comes to ask for more budget to cover yet another camera that students broke during coursework.
(15/20)
Media studies teacher. Therefore difficult to judge him as it's not a real subject. Kids doss about in his class, not like it matters. Barely noticed by the headteacher except when he comes to ask for more budget to cover yet another camera that students broke during coursework.
(15/20)
August 15, 2025 at 9:55 AM
MR AMORIM
Media studies teacher. Therefore difficult to judge him as it's not a real subject. Kids doss about in his class, not like it matters. Barely noticed by the headteacher except when he comes to ask for more budget to cover yet another camera that students broke during coursework.
(15/20)
Media studies teacher. Therefore difficult to judge him as it's not a real subject. Kids doss about in his class, not like it matters. Barely noticed by the headteacher except when he comes to ask for more budget to cover yet another camera that students broke during coursework.
(15/20)
MR PARKER
Top honours in his education degree, but it doesn't translate. Far too focused on giving witty comebacks to the classroom heckling, keeps score in his head. He's losing. He'll be losing even more when he has to explain to dismayed parents why their child got a D in English Lit.
(14/20)
Top honours in his education degree, but it doesn't translate. Far too focused on giving witty comebacks to the classroom heckling, keeps score in his head. He's losing. He'll be losing even more when he has to explain to dismayed parents why their child got a D in English Lit.
(14/20)
August 15, 2025 at 9:50 AM
MR PARKER
Top honours in his education degree, but it doesn't translate. Far too focused on giving witty comebacks to the classroom heckling, keeps score in his head. He's losing. He'll be losing even more when he has to explain to dismayed parents why their child got a D in English Lit.
(14/20)
Top honours in his education degree, but it doesn't translate. Far too focused on giving witty comebacks to the classroom heckling, keeps score in his head. He's losing. He'll be losing even more when he has to explain to dismayed parents why their child got a D in English Lit.
(14/20)
MR SLOT
Grizzled design tech teacher. Not a psychopath like you might expect, although he did lose it that one time a girl called him "Mr Slut". Constantly exasperated by the kids' inability to use "a simple band saw" for example, especially the boys on whom he considers it a moral failing
(13/20)
Grizzled design tech teacher. Not a psychopath like you might expect, although he did lose it that one time a girl called him "Mr Slut". Constantly exasperated by the kids' inability to use "a simple band saw" for example, especially the boys on whom he considers it a moral failing
(13/20)
August 15, 2025 at 9:43 AM
MR SLOT
Grizzled design tech teacher. Not a psychopath like you might expect, although he did lose it that one time a girl called him "Mr Slut". Constantly exasperated by the kids' inability to use "a simple band saw" for example, especially the boys on whom he considers it a moral failing
(13/20)
Grizzled design tech teacher. Not a psychopath like you might expect, although he did lose it that one time a girl called him "Mr Slut". Constantly exasperated by the kids' inability to use "a simple band saw" for example, especially the boys on whom he considers it a moral failing
(13/20)
MR LE BRIS
On indefinite sick leave before the end of his first term. Left the school at the end of the first year.
(12/20)
On indefinite sick leave before the end of his first term. Left the school at the end of the first year.
(12/20)
August 15, 2025 at 9:37 AM
MR LE BRIS
On indefinite sick leave before the end of his first term. Left the school at the end of the first year.
(12/20)
On indefinite sick leave before the end of his first term. Left the school at the end of the first year.
(12/20)
DR HURZELER
Biology teacher, proud of his PhD. Always "Doctor" (never Mr), which instantly makes him a bit of a d*ck. Claims that "educating the next generation" was more important to him than research work. You'd assume it's science doctorate he has, but no one actually seems to know.
(11/20)
Biology teacher, proud of his PhD. Always "Doctor" (never Mr), which instantly makes him a bit of a d*ck. Claims that "educating the next generation" was more important to him than research work. You'd assume it's science doctorate he has, but no one actually seems to know.
(11/20)
August 15, 2025 at 9:36 AM
DR HURZELER
Biology teacher, proud of his PhD. Always "Doctor" (never Mr), which instantly makes him a bit of a d*ck. Claims that "educating the next generation" was more important to him than research work. You'd assume it's science doctorate he has, but no one actually seems to know.
(11/20)
Biology teacher, proud of his PhD. Always "Doctor" (never Mr), which instantly makes him a bit of a d*ck. Claims that "educating the next generation" was more important to him than research work. You'd assume it's science doctorate he has, but no one actually seems to know.
(11/20)
MR MARESCA
Madcap chemistry teacher. His demonstrations are generally not classroom safe, doesn't actually know how to use the fume hood, somehow avoids complete disaster. Refers to the alkali metals as the "fun elements". Widely regarded by students as the funniest teacher.
(10/20)
Madcap chemistry teacher. His demonstrations are generally not classroom safe, doesn't actually know how to use the fume hood, somehow avoids complete disaster. Refers to the alkali metals as the "fun elements". Widely regarded by students as the funniest teacher.
(10/20)
August 15, 2025 at 9:23 AM
MR MARESCA
Madcap chemistry teacher. His demonstrations are generally not classroom safe, doesn't actually know how to use the fume hood, somehow avoids complete disaster. Refers to the alkali metals as the "fun elements". Widely regarded by students as the funniest teacher.
(10/20)
Madcap chemistry teacher. His demonstrations are generally not classroom safe, doesn't actually know how to use the fume hood, somehow avoids complete disaster. Refers to the alkali metals as the "fun elements". Widely regarded by students as the funniest teacher.
(10/20)
MR GLASNER
Just the loveliest geography teacher you could imagine. Brings the subject to life, much to the envy of the dour history teachers. At his happiest traipsing around a field in his wellies on a field trip. Extensive collection of sweater vests.
(9/10)
Just the loveliest geography teacher you could imagine. Brings the subject to life, much to the envy of the dour history teachers. At his happiest traipsing around a field in his wellies on a field trip. Extensive collection of sweater vests.
(9/10)
August 15, 2025 at 9:05 AM
MR GLASNER
Just the loveliest geography teacher you could imagine. Brings the subject to life, much to the envy of the dour history teachers. At his happiest traipsing around a field in his wellies on a field trip. Extensive collection of sweater vests.
(9/10)
Just the loveliest geography teacher you could imagine. Brings the subject to life, much to the envy of the dour history teachers. At his happiest traipsing around a field in his wellies on a field trip. Extensive collection of sweater vests.
(9/10)
MR ESPIRITO SANTO
Called Mr E.S. by students, not that he had any say in it. Arrives full of energy and optimism on a Monday morning but it's all drained away by first break. Takes him 15 minutes just to get through the register. Very easily pranked. Yet no one feels sorry for him.
(8/10)
Called Mr E.S. by students, not that he had any say in it. Arrives full of energy and optimism on a Monday morning but it's all drained away by first break. Takes him 15 minutes just to get through the register. Very easily pranked. Yet no one feels sorry for him.
(8/10)
August 15, 2025 at 8:58 AM
MR ESPIRITO SANTO
Called Mr E.S. by students, not that he had any say in it. Arrives full of energy and optimism on a Monday morning but it's all drained away by first break. Takes him 15 minutes just to get through the register. Very easily pranked. Yet no one feels sorry for him.
(8/10)
Called Mr E.S. by students, not that he had any say in it. Arrives full of energy and optimism on a Monday morning but it's all drained away by first break. Takes him 15 minutes just to get through the register. Very easily pranked. Yet no one feels sorry for him.
(8/10)
MR FARKE
Total disciplinarian. Takes no sh*t and even the school bullies respect him. His is the only classroom you might actually find a whole class working away in absolute silence. Beloved in the staff room, a riot on a night out but never reveals anything about his personal life.
(7/10)
Total disciplinarian. Takes no sh*t and even the school bullies respect him. His is the only classroom you might actually find a whole class working away in absolute silence. Beloved in the staff room, a riot on a night out but never reveals anything about his personal life.
(7/10)
August 15, 2025 at 8:52 AM
MR FARKE
Total disciplinarian. Takes no sh*t and even the school bullies respect him. His is the only classroom you might actually find a whole class working away in absolute silence. Beloved in the staff room, a riot on a night out but never reveals anything about his personal life.
(7/10)
Total disciplinarian. Takes no sh*t and even the school bullies respect him. His is the only classroom you might actually find a whole class working away in absolute silence. Beloved in the staff room, a riot on a night out but never reveals anything about his personal life.
(7/10)
MR IRAOLA
Business Studies teacher. You don't take Business Studies until GCSEs so that immediately makes him cooler, doesn't have to deal with those irritating Year 7s. Drives a car even more battered than the other teachers', so you question what he knows about business and money.
(6/10)
Business Studies teacher. You don't take Business Studies until GCSEs so that immediately makes him cooler, doesn't have to deal with those irritating Year 7s. Drives a car even more battered than the other teachers', so you question what he knows about business and money.
(6/10)
August 15, 2025 at 8:45 AM
MR IRAOLA
Business Studies teacher. You don't take Business Studies until GCSEs so that immediately makes him cooler, doesn't have to deal with those irritating Year 7s. Drives a car even more battered than the other teachers', so you question what he knows about business and money.
(6/10)
Business Studies teacher. You don't take Business Studies until GCSEs so that immediately makes him cooler, doesn't have to deal with those irritating Year 7s. Drives a car even more battered than the other teachers', so you question what he knows about business and money.
(6/10)
SR EMERY
The other Spanish teacher. Used to be head of languages but politely asked to give it up by the headteacher as it was "affecting his lesson prep and classroom teaching". Total nonsense of course. Frequently sends misbehaving students next door disrupt Sr Arteta's lessons instead.
(5/10)
The other Spanish teacher. Used to be head of languages but politely asked to give it up by the headteacher as it was "affecting his lesson prep and classroom teaching". Total nonsense of course. Frequently sends misbehaving students next door disrupt Sr Arteta's lessons instead.
(5/10)
August 15, 2025 at 8:35 AM
SR EMERY
The other Spanish teacher. Used to be head of languages but politely asked to give it up by the headteacher as it was "affecting his lesson prep and classroom teaching". Total nonsense of course. Frequently sends misbehaving students next door disrupt Sr Arteta's lessons instead.
(5/10)
The other Spanish teacher. Used to be head of languages but politely asked to give it up by the headteacher as it was "affecting his lesson prep and classroom teaching". Total nonsense of course. Frequently sends misbehaving students next door disrupt Sr Arteta's lessons instead.
(5/10)
MR HOWE
PE teacher. Only subject he enjoyed when at school himself, so seemed like the right career option. Finds it difficult to just stand back and teach, has to be involved himself. Fragile ego, so if he gets done on the football/hockey field, not adverse to awarding himself a penalty
(4/10)
PE teacher. Only subject he enjoyed when at school himself, so seemed like the right career option. Finds it difficult to just stand back and teach, has to be involved himself. Fragile ego, so if he gets done on the football/hockey field, not adverse to awarding himself a penalty
(4/10)
August 15, 2025 at 8:29 AM
MR HOWE
PE teacher. Only subject he enjoyed when at school himself, so seemed like the right career option. Finds it difficult to just stand back and teach, has to be involved himself. Fragile ego, so if he gets done on the football/hockey field, not adverse to awarding himself a penalty
(4/10)
PE teacher. Only subject he enjoyed when at school himself, so seemed like the right career option. Finds it difficult to just stand back and teach, has to be involved himself. Fragile ego, so if he gets done on the football/hockey field, not adverse to awarding himself a penalty
(4/10)
MR SILVA
Science teacher, specialises in biology, bit of a bore. Bloody loves a mnemonic (MRSNERG etc), much to the disdain of his students, but it isn't half effective come exam time.
(3/10)
Science teacher, specialises in biology, bit of a bore. Bloody loves a mnemonic (MRSNERG etc), much to the disdain of his students, but it isn't half effective come exam time.
(3/10)
August 15, 2025 at 8:19 AM
MR SILVA
Science teacher, specialises in biology, bit of a bore. Bloody loves a mnemonic (MRSNERG etc), much to the disdain of his students, but it isn't half effective come exam time.
(3/10)
Science teacher, specialises in biology, bit of a bore. Bloody loves a mnemonic (MRSNERG etc), much to the disdain of his students, but it isn't half effective come exam time.
(3/10)
SR ARTETA
"Rising star" of the teaching staff. Head of year within two years, head of languages within three. Eyeing the head of humanities and head of key stage roles, but waiting on others to retire. Girls often found twirling their hair and giggling in his classes.
(2/10)
"Rising star" of the teaching staff. Head of year within two years, head of languages within three. Eyeing the head of humanities and head of key stage roles, but waiting on others to retire. Girls often found twirling their hair and giggling in his classes.
(2/10)
August 15, 2025 at 8:14 AM
SR ARTETA
"Rising star" of the teaching staff. Head of year within two years, head of languages within three. Eyeing the head of humanities and head of key stage roles, but waiting on others to retire. Girls often found twirling their hair and giggling in his classes.
(2/10)
"Rising star" of the teaching staff. Head of year within two years, head of languages within three. Eyeing the head of humanities and head of key stage roles, but waiting on others to retire. Girls often found twirling their hair and giggling in his classes.
(2/10)
MR GUARDIOLA
Absolutely superb maths teacher. Really invests in his students and can get at least a GCSE C out of even his most innumerate pupils. Even runs a popular lunchtime maths club. Despises "know-it-alls" though and will occasionally mark down correct answers in their homework.
(1/20)
Absolutely superb maths teacher. Really invests in his students and can get at least a GCSE C out of even his most innumerate pupils. Even runs a popular lunchtime maths club. Despises "know-it-alls" though and will occasionally mark down correct answers in their homework.
(1/20)
August 15, 2025 at 8:05 AM
MR GUARDIOLA
Absolutely superb maths teacher. Really invests in his students and can get at least a GCSE C out of even his most innumerate pupils. Even runs a popular lunchtime maths club. Despises "know-it-alls" though and will occasionally mark down correct answers in their homework.
(1/20)
Absolutely superb maths teacher. Really invests in his students and can get at least a GCSE C out of even his most innumerate pupils. Even runs a popular lunchtime maths club. Despises "know-it-alls" though and will occasionally mark down correct answers in their homework.
(1/20)
Premier League starts today and I can't shake the idea of thinking what the Premier League managers would be like as secondary school teachers.
August 15, 2025 at 7:59 AM
Premier League starts today and I can't shake the idea of thinking what the Premier League managers would be like as secondary school teachers.
Reposted by Ashley Watkinson
🇸🇲📈 To mark their Nations League promotion, we’re giving away a San Marino shirt thanks to @SurpriseShirts!
To enter, simply repost & follow us @sweeperpod.bsky.social.
Plus, one lucky customer who orders from surpriseshirts.co.uk will get a bonus San Marino shirt! Use code “SWEEPER” for 10% off!
To enter, simply repost & follow us @sweeperpod.bsky.social.
Plus, one lucky customer who orders from surpriseshirts.co.uk will get a bonus San Marino shirt! Use code “SWEEPER” for 10% off!
November 21, 2024 at 5:14 PM
🇸🇲📈 To mark their Nations League promotion, we’re giving away a San Marino shirt thanks to @SurpriseShirts!
To enter, simply repost & follow us @sweeperpod.bsky.social.
Plus, one lucky customer who orders from surpriseshirts.co.uk will get a bonus San Marino shirt! Use code “SWEEPER” for 10% off!
To enter, simply repost & follow us @sweeperpod.bsky.social.
Plus, one lucky customer who orders from surpriseshirts.co.uk will get a bonus San Marino shirt! Use code “SWEEPER” for 10% off!