It’s that time of year when I retell one of my favourite stories - I went out on Hogmanay about 20 years ago, felt fancy and asked for a White Russian. Much confusion ensued. Whispers behind the bar. 15 minutes later I was presented with a pint of Baileys and milk.

Watching Empire Strikes Back - the scene where Han gets frozen. All I ever see is Bobby from Home and Away coming out of the fridge.

Hello, I’m Helen. This is my 7,418th social media platform. I’m having problems stopping and I need help.

*mumbling* Hello Helen