The fact that Milli Vanilli was crucified for lip syncing and now there is a whole goddamn entertainment culture surrounding it speaks volume of how low the bar for entertainment has fallen.

Fewer things make my day like BOGO Cold Brew at Publix. 🖤

Has anyone scoured #wallstreetbets for any action from the WH lately? Wild that these dickheads are out here cheering the fish for swimming.

Heard a country song today where some dude was on about his girl being like "Fireworks in July".

So, annoying as shit every fucking day except the 4th and tolerable at best even then?

Got it.

The county I live in Florida flipped Blue today. Great success. 🖤

Today is the day when I'm happiest that I'm no longer on Facebook as I'm pretty sure the hysterical laughter of another fake pregnancy post might kill me.

Everyone's April Fools jokes are lame, worn out, and a harrowing reminder of how unoriginal most people have become.

Viva Las Vegas. 🤣

(....it's not real, but I'm going to pretend it is for the LOLs and because I will hold out hope that someone over there will have the balls to make this a reality.)

I'll always maintain that individuals in full makeup and (fuckin' forbid) PERFUME aren't actually in the gym to workout.

I mean, do you and maybe it's just me.... but after the 20th minute of cardio when my sinuses have evacuated and I smell like bootyhole, please don't talk to me about ANYTHING.

An Agnostic person is just an Atheist with commitment issues.

If you think "aura" is a key personality trait when getting to know someone, then "intelligence" most likely isn't.

#icantproveitijustknowitstrue

Nice to see Amazon finally getting their shit together again. I remember before Covid an employee got beheaded if Prime delivery dates weren't met. Lately many of my Prime orders have gone from "ESTIMATED two day arrival" to overnight.

Now let me shut the fuck up before they raise their prices.

TRANSLATION: "I suck at choosing mates."

Men who are looking for an intellectual equal/enjoy being challenged DO exist. However, change starts with YOU. Until your standards improve and "aura" isn't a priority on your shopping list, your situations won't improve either.

#memesihatemonday

Dear Walmart:

Please make it so that all of your produce/deli sections don't smell like someone is embalming a body somewhere.

KThx.