its even stranger than most because u can experience this peace for an extended period of time while also processing all the other normal emotions

i shouldn't be nervous since ive still got an amount of time left but...i am..???? idk im just rambling atp end tangent

ends. and it kinda fits with what ive been doing the past few months ig where ive just been tying loose ends and stuff with irl friends and family members while trying to build up the courage to finally commit into this promise before the year ends. its weird and i cant help but want it to stop??? +

a weird promise ive kept telling myself since i was like a child was that i should kill myself before i turn 13, it came and now i told myself to do it before graduation, then i graduated elementary, which then turned into before i turn 18, im 19 now and atp i just decided to do it before the year +

yearning arc 🤝

im not killing myself (yet) just finished up a draft i found that im documenting cuz this acc goes from venting and game posts to being a writing archive *shrug*

"To write my wrongs there is only one solution left; Death.

I mean, there would be no problem if the cause never existed right?

Everything's in place.

Soon. Thank you.

World, forget me."

-K

from: End Cycle

And why do I say this? Dont be like me. Devoid of hope and reason much that I have grown a filter I cant turn off. Saying heartful words but never internalizing them. A mind that autotranslates kindness to knives I use to gut myself. I am my own flaw; my own demise."

3/3

There's still a lot to see out there. The sunsets that close down and bid farewell to the world in such a vibrant orange, like a hug when departing with friends as you head home for the day. The natural sound of birds and the gushing of the wind as you bike through roads. Keep living.

2/3

ive pretty much experienced all there is to see in life and i think im ready to just let go now.

my stomache is constantly stuck between puking out if i eat something and devouring food when its hungry into a cycle of puking it out again that im practically just rotting now. and i just want it to end.

real and true

i think its just cuz im not terminally online idk