Be kind....be patient.... and if you can't be that way for others, that's fine. Maybe you're not a Yelena, not everyone is. I personally hope those of us with BPD find our Yelena, the person willing to step into the void to pull us out. Not just stay when we're Sentry or tolerate us when we're Bob

That was eye opening, yes therapy helps....so does support from the people around you. There's a stigma around BPD that casts people with it in a negative light, we aren't villains we're survivors that get stuck in fight or flight over to some might be silly issues and for us are life and death -

Bob is not a villain, sentry isn't a villain, the void isn't a villain. They're a person with BPD trying his best to control a power that manifests his emotional dysfunction, and he can with the help of his friends that took the time to stop and face his darkness with him. And as someone with BPD-

Until he's the Void, consuming everything in darkness. Everything is terrible, he's terrible, the world is terrible. And.... everyone is scared. Everyone but Yelena, she actively tried to reassure him and ground him in reality. Validated his feelings, brought him out of the split and spiral -

To upset him, Yelena and the others trying to stop sentry project. The villain being revealed to have manipulated Bob, that sends him spiraling. That confidence falls, the split happens. There's guilt for trusting the villain, shame for being used, for falling for it. It's a spiral into despair-

So as Sentry he's at a high point in his emotions, views himself as unstoppable, can't be unalived, he views himself as basically a god. He's confident and everyone loves a good hero, so being told he's a hero and will be loved keeps him at a high point keeps him as Sentry. Until something happens -

Is patient enough to stick around, and when things go wrong they don't run. They don't get mad, they sit me down, we talk, and we improve and I'm so fucking grateful to finally have a friend that doesn't run when I get difficult 😭 I love them so much.

They took the time to research, they reassure me when I need it and have actively been helping me with triggers and coping mechanisms. They're 50+ and still learning their own trauma stuff, we're helping each other and for the first time in a long time...I'm really happy to have a friend that

Regardless I'm going to keep improving 😌 getting my life together, getting myself on track for a future I can be proud of.

Destroy friendships, relationships, families, etc. a vicious cycle of rejection, reaction and isolation. I'm doing what I can to break that cycle, and maybe one day I can reconnect to people. Or even just make friends and improve upon myself so I don't make similar mistakes.

Rejection is a major trigger for BPD, so it's something I really need to overcome. Abandonment too, I'm just nervous of the reactions I have so I have my psychologist and a therapist helping me. Still I'm glad I'm getting a handle on this, living with BPD is not easy Like any mental illness it can -

I hurt. I have created space, for myself. Away from the people in my life, people I was extremely close with I no longer speak to. I do feel terrible I didn't give them explanations, and I'm working in therapy to have the courage to reach out and apologize even if it leads to rejection. -

I didn't even realize it was starting to become a serious problem. Getting high at inopportune times, using it to help me sleep and it became my go to to escape everything. To run away from what I was feeling so I wouldn't feel anything, and I'm sure that didn't help with the people around me that -

To those around me. And therapy is helping me to journal and keep track of what I'm feeling, when, where, why, how I reacted and how I can react differently. Trying to break old coping mechanisms that are harmful and find ones that are helpful. Weed was a heavy coping mechanisms for so much -

To react differently. I'm not going to lie, it is challenging when you're in the moment. Your emotions are high, you can't regulate what you're feeling and it's like drowning. You're scrambling for even a little oxygen, even if it brings someone into the water with you. It's scary, for myself and -