im so tired of living rn
its all just the same
an endless cycle repeating itself over and over again
i need a break from life
just being gone for a little while in hopes that everything changed for the better while i was gone

getting more stable
at least one thing seems to change for the better
but deep down i know they want me gone
pls i just want to stay for a little bit longer
pls let me live for at least a few days

im getting older
i never inteded to make it that far
i dont want this
i never wanted this
sometimes i truly despise being alive

why do i feel paranoid?
why am i scared?
is it cause i feel guilty?
or is it because im weak?
i dunno whats real anymore...