Household with no cat:
*bonk*
"Oh my god what was that, was that a ghost?"

Household with a cat:
*bonk*
"The cat jumped off something, it's fine"

*louder Bonk*
"The cat jumped off something high, it's fine"

*BONK*

*silence*

*meow*
"The cat fell off something, it's fine"

There are few nice things about winter, but there are some nice things about winter

Life, uh, finds a way 🌱

I've made a terrible mistake. I bought conditioner for the first time, and now my hair feels really nice and I don't think I can ever do without it ever again ever. This is what I was afraid of. This is why I shouldn't have nice things.

I'm not distant and paranoid, I just start thinking there's a ploy to poison me at the second coworker who offers me coffee

Wait, now that I'm here am I supposed to talk or something? Screw that, you get a bouquet of paws instead