🖤 Nightmoura 🐾
@illdess.bsky.social
I'm a slutty kittengirl who loves to talk about sexual stuff here. I don't usually care about talking to others here though.
Suicidal people sometimes kill themselves because they feel like the only way to escape their pain is to remove themselves entirely, that nothing they could try otherwise would fix it.
In case anyone is worried, I do not currently have suicidal intents.
In case anyone is worried, I do not currently have suicidal intents.
December 31, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Suicidal people sometimes kill themselves because they feel like the only way to escape their pain is to remove themselves entirely, that nothing they could try otherwise would fix it.
In case anyone is worried, I do not currently have suicidal intents.
In case anyone is worried, I do not currently have suicidal intents.
I wonder how people vent in a way that doesn't just make them think more about things and only do harm. Maybe they just believe it'll help, unlike me, so they listen better. Distraction and ignoring bad feelings feels like what I need to do to heal.
December 29, 2025 at 4:29 PM
I wonder how people vent in a way that doesn't just make them think more about things and only do harm. Maybe they just believe it'll help, unlike me, so they listen better. Distraction and ignoring bad feelings feels like what I need to do to heal.
Recently, I had an urge to :rest: them
December 27, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Recently, I had an urge to :rest: them
A few days ago, one of my friends was being silly on call
I had an urge to playfully call out YOUR name as a reaction to their silliness, like you were the one being silly
I had an urge to playfully call out YOUR name as a reaction to their silliness, like you were the one being silly
December 27, 2025 at 4:41 PM
A few days ago, one of my friends was being silly on call
I had an urge to playfully call out YOUR name as a reaction to their silliness, like you were the one being silly
I had an urge to playfully call out YOUR name as a reaction to their silliness, like you were the one being silly
The thoughts you are replying to are to an audience who is not visibly here
December 26, 2025 at 4:15 PM
The thoughts you are replying to are to an audience who is not visibly here
I think over how much you cared and tried
I'm sorry I couldn't remember
I'm sorry I wasted you
I'm sorry I couldn't remember
I'm sorry I wasted you
December 26, 2025 at 3:45 AM
I think over how much you cared and tried
I'm sorry I couldn't remember
I'm sorry I wasted you
I'm sorry I couldn't remember
I'm sorry I wasted you
Talking about things with someone you don't know.
It's easier to realize how stupid and irrational I am as I do so.
It's easier to realize how stupid and irrational I am as I do so.
December 26, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Talking about things with someone you don't know.
It's easier to realize how stupid and irrational I am as I do so.
It's easier to realize how stupid and irrational I am as I do so.
"Please don't go"
December 26, 2025 at 3:09 AM
"Please don't go"
I couldn't remember anything.
December 25, 2025 at 2:36 PM
I couldn't remember anything.
I don't currently foresee myself taking any actions right now but these thoughts shouldn't be happening in the first place. They're all so wrong.
December 25, 2025 at 2:28 PM
I don't currently foresee myself taking any actions right now but these thoughts shouldn't be happening in the first place. They're all so wrong.
Recently, I was thinking of the idea of unfriending you. Now I'm thinking of the idea of doing something worse.
I no longer can be around you without feeling scared or sad; it drives me to shut you out of my sight so I can be safe from my own mind. I wonder if that's how it was for you.
I no longer can be around you without feeling scared or sad; it drives me to shut you out of my sight so I can be safe from my own mind. I wonder if that's how it was for you.
December 25, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Recently, I was thinking of the idea of unfriending you. Now I'm thinking of the idea of doing something worse.
I no longer can be around you without feeling scared or sad; it drives me to shut you out of my sight so I can be safe from my own mind. I wonder if that's how it was for you.
I no longer can be around you without feeling scared or sad; it drives me to shut you out of my sight so I can be safe from my own mind. I wonder if that's how it was for you.
I'm really mentally healthier not getting too close to others because I worry so much if I'm with others.
That's so sad.
Oh, right. Once I become perfect, being with others becomes safer. I forgot about that. I just gotta make sure I don't fall in love.
That's so sad.
Oh, right. Once I become perfect, being with others becomes safer. I forgot about that. I just gotta make sure I don't fall in love.
December 23, 2025 at 9:56 PM
I'm really mentally healthier not getting too close to others because I worry so much if I'm with others.
That's so sad.
Oh, right. Once I become perfect, being with others becomes safer. I forgot about that. I just gotta make sure I don't fall in love.
That's so sad.
Oh, right. Once I become perfect, being with others becomes safer. I forgot about that. I just gotta make sure I don't fall in love.
Huh. When I've fallen, the lamenting returns and hurts just like before.
December 22, 2025 at 6:08 PM
Huh. When I've fallen, the lamenting returns and hurts just like before.
I'd rather go for finding power in myself to nullify stress and exert boundaries where needed, then I ACTUALLY CAN have two of the three! Friendship and independence... I'll be able to have two of them once I'm well enough!!!
December 18, 2025 at 11:47 PM
I'd rather go for finding power in myself to nullify stress and exert boundaries where needed, then I ACTUALLY CAN have two of the three! Friendship and independence... I'll be able to have two of them once I'm well enough!!!
I don't want to let go of them though so I don't currently plan to.
It's crazy to think though that the codependent girl could become completely detached from all her friends and possibly even be happier since that would eliminate the risk of stress.
It's crazy to think though that the codependent girl could become completely detached from all her friends and possibly even be happier since that would eliminate the risk of stress.
December 18, 2025 at 11:47 PM
I don't want to let go of them though so I don't currently plan to.
It's crazy to think though that the codependent girl could become completely detached from all her friends and possibly even be happier since that would eliminate the risk of stress.
It's crazy to think though that the codependent girl could become completely detached from all her friends and possibly even be happier since that would eliminate the risk of stress.
I realized today that I could probably eventually abandon my friends if I wanted to. I'm focusing on myself so successfully that the feeling of being unable to let go of companions has been very weakened. I really don't have emotional permanence, huh? That's such a shame.
December 18, 2025 at 11:47 PM
I realized today that I could probably eventually abandon my friends if I wanted to. I'm focusing on myself so successfully that the feeling of being unable to let go of companions has been very weakened. I really don't have emotional permanence, huh? That's such a shame.
I wonder if these are the same processes you went through.
December 17, 2025 at 5:54 PM
I wonder if these are the same processes you went through.
If I stay away from others when my mind feels off, I'll be able to rejuvenate myself more quickly because I won't experience the stress of being around others!
December 17, 2025 at 2:01 PM
If I stay away from others when my mind feels off, I'll be able to rejuvenate myself more quickly because I won't experience the stress of being around others!
Ideally once I bloom, I'll be safe enough to maintain relationships with others but the possibility of me just no longer wanting to be around others because I can't do it without getting stressed is non-zero. I'm sorry if that happens. It wasn't my choice to have these curses. 🫂
I love my friends.
I love my friends.
December 17, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Ideally once I bloom, I'll be safe enough to maintain relationships with others but the possibility of me just no longer wanting to be around others because I can't do it without getting stressed is non-zero. I'm sorry if that happens. It wasn't my choice to have these curses. 🫂
I love my friends.
I love my friends.
I'm sorry if I disappear, world. If I do, it's because I needed to make myself safe.
December 17, 2025 at 12:49 AM
I'm sorry if I disappear, world. If I do, it's because I needed to make myself safe.
I think solitude is healing.
December 16, 2025 at 9:37 PM
I think solitude is healing.
It feels selfish like I'm abandoning my friends but gotta do what makes me happy, right? I want to do what you did...
It's not like I'm actually abandoning them anyway.
And maybe I'll soon become stress-free even with others. That was what happened the last time I was in heaven.
It's not like I'm actually abandoning them anyway.
And maybe I'll soon become stress-free even with others. That was what happened the last time I was in heaven.
December 16, 2025 at 1:26 AM
It feels selfish like I'm abandoning my friends but gotta do what makes me happy, right? I want to do what you did...
It's not like I'm actually abandoning them anyway.
And maybe I'll soon become stress-free even with others. That was what happened the last time I was in heaven.
It's not like I'm actually abandoning them anyway.
And maybe I'll soon become stress-free even with others. That was what happened the last time I was in heaven.
I think I'm getting scared of the idea of doing stuff with others, oof! It's just so much more relaxing and less stressful to be alone! Is that my future? That's kinda sad but it should be okay: not everyone games with friends & I gotta do what makes me happy.
December 16, 2025 at 1:11 AM
I think I'm getting scared of the idea of doing stuff with others, oof! It's just so much more relaxing and less stressful to be alone! Is that my future? That's kinda sad but it should be okay: not everyone games with friends & I gotta do what makes me happy.
As I bloom, I've learned how to tell if I don't want to do something and I've even used the power to say no a few times.
As I bloom, I remembered how pleasant it is to do things alone -- to have fun without the passive stress social activities incurs.
As I bloom, I remembered how pleasant it is to do things alone -- to have fun without the passive stress social activities incurs.
December 14, 2025 at 1:34 AM
As I bloom, I've learned how to tell if I don't want to do something and I've even used the power to say no a few times.
As I bloom, I remembered how pleasant it is to do things alone -- to have fun without the passive stress social activities incurs.
As I bloom, I remembered how pleasant it is to do things alone -- to have fun without the passive stress social activities incurs.