You wouldn't see the likes of Tom Delonge doing this

If you get a bunch of incredibly talented musicians in a room together, put unbelievably clean and glossy production on it and make them create the most boring music to ever exist it's actually good instead of something you would listen to in a lift

Last year a gamekeeper went off the nut at us for kayaking the gorge because he had to blow away 300 deer that month, and we were apparently scaring them away with our little plastic boats. Clearly nothing of any use to anybody being done with the landscape currently.

UDI now, UDI forever

They can make a little sliding mouth hatch for him that can be opened and shut by the producers while they insert forkfuls of dinner into his mouth. What the fuck am I paying my licence fee for?!

That Geese lot everybody's been going on about though. Load o pish eh

Listening to a podcast about the rise of Tommy Robinson and contemporary British fascism while boiling spaghetti just to have a little bit of fun

A testament to how good the rest of the game is that I'm willing to put up with this pish

I do vaguely remember him going properly mental about the time he was in hospital for ball cancer but doubt you're on that one. It was definitely more a case of him spending 22 hours a day on twitter and going hard on defending Woody Allen

I don't think there's a type of medicine that makes you get divorced so probably a good shout.