The Journal of Immaterial Science
@immaterialscience.bsky.social
130 followers 8 following 42 posts
J. Immat. Sci. is an open-access, beer-reviewed journal, publishing satirical papers from all fields of science. Anyone can submit an article by downloading a template from our website: https://www.immaterialscience.org/
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immaterialscience.bsky.social
Volume 4 hardcopies are finally here, use the following links if you want to order some.

If you’re in Germany: www.patreon.com/c/immaterial...

If you’re anywhere else: immaterialscience.etsy.com
immaterialscience.bsky.social
BREAKING: The 2025 Noble Prize for Literature has been awarded to Humanity, "for creating millennia's worth of original content with which to train generative AI". With creativity finished, our painters and poets can now return to the workforce as useful things like tax lawyers.
immaterialscience.bsky.social
Originally developed as surfactants and waterproofing agents, PFAS are now gaining popularity as carcinogens, mild contraceptives and drug-delivery vectors:
immaterialscience.bsky.social
BREAKING: the 2025 Noble Prize in Chemistry has been awarded to DuPont, 3M and Daikin “for the development and deployment of PFAS: a family of infinitely sustainable chemicals”. As these now-ubiquitous chemicals never decompose, they can be reused for generations to come.
immaterialscience.bsky.social
BREAKING: The 2025 Noble Prize in physics has been awarded to Xián Zhū Shǒu for “harnessing laser ablation and ultrasonic levitation to create a toaster with an ‘a bit less’ function". The ability to unburn toast will contribute far more to everyday life than gravitational waves.
immaterialscience.bsky.social
BREAKING: The 2025 Noble Prize for Medicine has been awarded to RFK Jr. for “taking bold action to reduce life expectancies in the USA”. By undermining the health system, RFK Jr. has led the charge to combat the USA's aging population and prevent a pension crisis.
immaterialscience.bsky.social
A Balanced, Nuanced, and Comprehensive Review of Scientific English and its Relevance to Modern Scholarship

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Scientific...
immaterialscience.bsky.social
This is what happens when you use genetic engineering for good, rather than just making fruit flies with legs for eyes.

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Sex-Carrot...
immaterialscience.bsky.social
Hey everyone, it’s taken five years, but J. Immat. Sci. finally has its own website: immaterialscience.org. On it, you can find our our entire back-catalogue of articles (>140), links to buy hardcopies of our journals, the PDF versions, and our submission guidelines/templates.
immaterialscience.bsky.social
The authors of this paper went above and beyond, and physically went to a mall to survey the public. Their question: do you like twizzlers?

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/s/Twizzlers....
immaterialscience.bsky.social
It’s that time of year again friends, and we want to hear your suggestions for the 2025 Noble Prizes in chemistry, physics, literature, medicine, peace and economics. Chuck your ideas in the comments.
immaterialscience.bsky.social
Toward a Cosmologically Complete Astrology: Corrections Based on the Mapped Distribution of Dark Matter and Dark Energy

PDF: www.immaterialscience.org/2025/astrology
immaterialscience.bsky.social
We recorded a cover of Ed Sheeran's "The A Team". We rewrote this melancholy ballad, originally about homelessness and substance abuse, to reflect the experience of doing a PhD, and somehow made it even more depressing: www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQ7W...
The DPhil Team
YouTube video by The Journal of Immaterial Science
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immaterialscience.bsky.social
A scientific explanation for a cat with two tails.
immaterialscience.bsky.social
We report the discovery of a pair of novel neurotransmitters, which are synthesised from dopamine and Cheese Supreme Doritos.

PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
immaterialscience.bsky.social
We turned medicinal chemistry into a card game, which takes 3-10 years to play.

PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
immaterialscience.bsky.social
We ranked all the “sea”-creatures we could think of by how much they resemble the land counterparts. In light of the wild inconsistencies we have uncovered, we recommend renaming some land animals in the name of fairness, eg. lions = landsharks.

PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
immaterialscience.bsky.social
We disclose a method for exploiting a glitch in physics, allowing a 1989 Toyota Corolla to turn into an infinite matter generator.

PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
immaterialscience.bsky.social
We report the *successful* testing of a mortar powered by sodium metal and water.

PDF: jabde.com/wp-content/u...
immaterialscience.bsky.social
Can anyone recommend a good procedure for recovering palladium from laboratory waste? The “boil it, burn it, wash it, aqua regia, concentrate” steps seem sensible enough, but some specifics would be really helpful.